Look At Me
#1
Look At Me 

Look at me, look at me, look at, just look at me
hot headed as a fool can be
losing my cool degree by degree
just look at me
 
  The moon's on fire
  got me seein red
  while the devil's choir sings
  we're here in yer head boy
  hear us in yer head

Look at me, look at me, look at, just look at me
not headed where I wanna be
cruising for something that I can't even see
just look at me

  This mood's live wires
  shocking my last nerve
  while the devil's choir sings
  you get what you deserve boy
  you get what you deserve


(lyrics to another of my songs)
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#2
(01-07-2022, 12:18 PM)Mark A Becker Wrote:  Look At Me 

Look at me, look at me, look at, just look at me written out, you can probably cut some look at me's. Artistic license to scat it out singing
hot headed as a fool can be 
losing my cool degree by degree  kinda cheesy but it's all temp related and understandable
just look at me
 
  The moon's on fire
  got me seein red is it the moon that made you angry?
  while the devil's choir sings
  we're here in yer head boy
  hear us in yer head

Look at me, look at me, look at, just look at me
not headed where I wanna be  I love the way this line rhymes with earlier
cruising for something that I can't even see
just look at me

  This mood's live wires again here
  shocking my last nerve
  while the devil's choir sings
  you get what you deserve boy
  you get what you deserve 


(lyrics to another of my songs)

I think a few more verses could really add to it, maybe more about the devil or why the anger, why the moon, why look at me, 

The second half works better for me than the first, but I think the first have can be sharpened.  Sonics are more important in singing though, I can't tell if this is fast or slow, if it's dark or light, 
Peanut butter honey banana sandwiches
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