Context (Senryu)
#1
Context (Senryu)


What a world where black
lives matter and don’t tread on
me scare anyone
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#2
not bad.
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#3
(10-27-2020, 04:43 AM)dukealien Wrote:  Context (Senryu)


What a world where black
lives matter and don’t tread on
me scare anyone

Hi Duke,

I've come back to this a few times because I struggled with it at first, I have since (with the help of google) discovered the significance of the phrase "don't tread on me" and the Gadsden Flag. It makes more sense now but I'm wondering if a footnote would be of some help to readers from across the pond, although saying that I don't mind working for the meaning and the journey that it takes me on. Also should the last line be 'scares' or am I missing something.

Cheers for the read,

Mark
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#4
(10-31-2020, 02:53 AM)ambrosial revelation Wrote:  
(10-27-2020, 04:43 AM)dukealien Wrote:  Context (Senryu)


What a world where black
lives matter and don’t tread on
me scare anyone

Hi Duke,

I've come back to this a few times because I struggled with it at first, I have since (with the help of google) discovered the significance of the phrase "don't tread on me" and the Gadsden Flag. It makes more sense now but I'm wondering if a footnote would be of some help to readers from across the pond, although saying that I don't mind working for the meaning and the journey that it takes me on. Also should the last line be 'scares' or am I missing something.

Cheers for the read,

Mark

If we were allowed images, I could head it with the rattlesnake and BLM flags.  Also considered using some typographic means to set the two mottoes off from the rest (quotation marks, italics), but decided against.  The journey, y'know.

"[S]care" is, I persnick, grammatically required because it refers to the two mottoes, hence plural.  A case could be made that it refers to each individually, so should be "scares."  But I also like that last line (me scare anyone) which taken out of context with an implied question mark, has sort of a Tweety Bird/Alfred E. Neuman vibe. (Well, you said you liked a journey... there's a lot of weird culture in each of those references.)
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