Hackney Marshes
#1
Hackney Marshes

One day, you were gone.
At first, it was like other days - the afternoon hung heavy with rain. The dog grew impatient at five o'clock. At eight, Dr House cracked another case. At some point the trucks grew louder on the freeway, and I felt uneasy, like before an early morning flight, unable to sleep. Listening for the sound of a key in the latch. The stomp of muddy shoes. And I lay all night waiting for the key to turn. Dropping away in fits. 
I saw you sometimes in dreams, in the Hackney marshes, beneath leafy boughs. 
There, you were golden.
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#2
Beautiful, and beautifully expressed. Could not be improved with conventional verse-typography. Especially impressed by the bravery of mentioning Hackney in what, written just a bit differently, would indeed be a hackneyed situation and sentiment... but transcends the ordinary instead.

Excellent.
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
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#3
.
Hi Busker,
enjoyed the read. 'Freeway' took me out of London, though (why not name the road?)
and wouldn't it be 'on the Hackney ...' ?


Best, Knot


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#4
Thanks, duke, knot.
knot - the flashback is to a different time and place; at least that was the intention.
On the prepositions - the subject is not doing anything specific on the surface of the marshes, so it would seem to me that 'in' would be the right choice.
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#5
Is this a prose piece?
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#6
(07-28-2020, 12:43 PM)JaggedEdge Wrote:  Is this a prose piece?

https://ronnowpoetry.com/contents/bly/DeadSeal.html
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