Blimp
#1
Blimp

This is more than just
hot air

I am membrane
engorged with oxyhydrogen

and you
are ready flint
Reply
#2
Ready flint?
Reply
#3
(07-23-2020, 05:06 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  Blimp

This is more than just
hot air

I am membrane
engorged with oxyhydrogen

and you
are ready flint

But oxyhydrogen is water....innit? Or is that the point of the poem?
Reply
#4
The play between literal, figurative, and hyperbolic language is really pleasing.

*more* than just hot air - it is indeed

I have the tiniest, pickiest, most borish question: Is it "I am membrane" or "I am a membrane"?

(07-23-2020, 05:06 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  Blimp

This is more than just
hot air

I am membrane
engorged with oxyhydrogen

and you
are ready flint

(07-23-2020, 05:16 AM)JaggedEdge Wrote:  Ready flint?

Do you think it's flint like for making fire, Flint as in Flint, Michigan . . . or is it his douchebag friend Flint that is a blimp captain?
Reply
#5
(07-23-2020, 06:14 AM)Valerie Please Wrote:  The play between literal, figurative, and hyperbolic language is really pleasing.

*more* than just hot air - it is indeed

I have the tiniest, pickiest, most borish question: Is it "I am membrane" or "I am a membrane"?

(07-23-2020, 05:06 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  Blimp

This is more than just
hot air

I am membrane
engorged with oxyhydrogen

and you
are ready flint

(07-23-2020, 05:16 AM)JaggedEdge Wrote:  Ready flint?

Do you think it's flint like for making fire, Flint as in Flint, Michigan . . . or is it his douchebag friend Flint that is a blimp captain?

I thought it was a name of a person, go figure.
Reply
#6
"you are spark-in-waiting," perhaps, if flint confuses?
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
Reply
#7
(07-23-2020, 05:06 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  Blimp

This is more than just
hot air

I am membrane
engorged with oxyhydrogen

and you
are ready flint

Hey guys, thanks for reading and commenting. I wanted to leave a note on your comments just to clarify some choices - good or bad.

@Val. "I am membrane" felt more immediate, more hollow - also graduates the line from simile to metaphor (to my ear) - same reason I didn't say "a ready flint" Doesn't mean my choices were sound

@Duke "spark" has it's appeal for clarity, but it was too difficult to disguise its cliche.

If "flint" was a distraction, I think I'm a little guilty of knowing it might be.
Reply
#8
Video 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBH7ql34Ex0
Reply
#9
Hello-
It seems the first 3 letters in your title might as well be tru instead of bli

That said, blimp is a pretty apt description.

And, oh my, can the ever ready flint spark some nasty explosions.

Could be I'm all wrong in my interpretation, but that's my take and I'm sticking to it:any poem is in the eye of the beholder.

Thanks,
Mark

(01-09-2021, 12:01 PM)Mark A Becker Wrote:  Hello-
It seems the first 3 letters in your title might as well be tru instead of bli

That said, blimp is a pretty apt description.

And, oh my, can the ever ready flint spark some nasty explosions.

Could be I'm all wrong in my interpretation, but that's my take and I'm sticking to it:any poem is in the eye of the beholder.

Thanks,
Mark

Now that I see the link you posted, I feel more confident in my interpretation, Though I'd have been happy to have been left wondering.
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!