Not a native English speaker, need some help with some words
#1
Hi all 

As the title explains, I am not a native English speaker. I've lived in an English speaking country for almost 30 years now and I find myself in a position where I need to translate a poem from another language to English.  I am stuck with a verse about the sea and the wind. 
What are some verbs that describe the way the sea interacts with a soft wind or a breeze. Like when your skin is gently touched and your hairs stand up, kind or thing.. 

any help is going to be greatly appreciated.
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#2
(06-21-2020, 09:16 PM)Cannotwrite Wrote:  Hi all 

As the title explains, I am not a native English speaker. I've lived in an English speaking country for almost 30 years now and I find myself in a position where I need to translate a poem from another language to English.  I am stuck with a verse about the sea and the wind. 
What are some verbs that describe the way the sea interacts with a soft wind or a breeze. Like when your skin is gently touched and your hairs stand up, kind or thing.. 

any help is going to be greatly appreciated.

You are probably in the wrong place for this kind of advice; as a critique site, a better practice might be to translate as best you can, then submit your English translation for critique here - obtaining the advice you want in the form of improvements to it.

The important thing, I'd say, is to get the sense in your translation: art can wait for rewrites. Words/phrases like snowy spume, diamond spray, dandelion spray, crystal-white foam, rainbow aftermath of a gale's breath... hard to choose if none evokes an image for you because they're not in your native language. If the original language means something like "lace," just say "lacy" and if the context makes people snicker in English, someone will tell you.
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#3
(06-21-2020, 10:58 PM)dukealien Wrote:  
(06-21-2020, 09:16 PM)Cannotwrite Wrote:  Hi all 

As the title explains, I am not a native English speaker. I've lived in an English speaking country for almost 30 years now and I find myself in a position where I need to translate a poem from another language to English.  I am stuck with a verse about the sea and the wind. 
What are some verbs that describe the way the sea interacts with a soft wind or a breeze. Like when your skin is gently touched and your hairs stand up, kind or thing.. 

any help is going to be greatly appreciated.

You are probably in the wrong place for this kind of advice; as a critique site, a better practice might be to translate as best you can, then submit your English translation for critique here - obtaining the advice you want in the form of improvements to it.

The important thing, I'd say, is to get the sense in your translation:  art can wait for rewrites.  Words/phrases like snowy spume, diamond spray, dandelion spray, crystal-white foam, rainbow aftermath of a gale's breath... hard to choose if none evokes an image for you because they're not in your native language.  If the original language means something like "lace," just say "lacy" and if the context makes people snicker in English, someone will tell you.


That actually makes a lot of sense, thank you. It is really useful. 

As I anticipate there may be more instances where I may need this kind of advice, can you suggest any place where it may be more appropriate?
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