Snow in May
#1
I wake to tendrils of dancing snow
wafting up in skyward offering
to canny deities that know
to fill their coffers brimming
with illness, dark and death.
I must have overslept.

But no- the light is wrong it seems.
It nearly blinds as I take in
branches white, but tipped with green
Winter’s gasp before its end
A funeral duet begins and rises from my garden
an improvised hymn intoned by wind chime and robin

Is this cruelty, sorcery or chance?
The tulips bend, repentant in prayer
for their hasty, reckless entrance
forced from interment, gasping for air 
Only the daffodils seem to care
and lower their gaze in despair

The mid-day sun declares its answer,
melting conflict and all tension.
Tufts appear of bright green fur
and life begins to burgeon.
The seasons cycle, ceaseless, pre-written.
Jack Frost hurriedly recoils, finally back-bitten.
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#2
Ahh, the lambing snow. We had a wee bit here on Skye overnight but gone now.
You’re poem sums up that fleeting last grasp of winter.
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#3
(05-10-2020, 09:29 PM)LSClanton Wrote:  I wake to tendrils of dancing snow
wafting up in skyward offering
to canny deities that know
to fill their coffers brimming
with illness, dark and death.
I must have overslept.

But no- the light is wrong it seems.
It nearly blinds as I take in
branches white, but tipped with green
Winter’s gasp before its end
A funeral duet begins and rises from my garden
an improvised hymn intoned by wind chime and robin

Is this cruelty, sorcery or chance?
The tulips bend, repentant in prayer
for their hasty, reckless entrance
forced from interment, gasping for air 
Only the daffodils seem to care
and lower their gaze in despair

The mid-day sun declares its answer,
melting conflict and all tension.
Tufts appear of bright green fur
and life begins to burgeon.
The seasons cycle, ceaseless, pre-written.
Jack Frost hurriedly recoils, finally back-bitten.
Interesting poem, really moving and beautiful, I love three seasons, Spring, Summer, Fall, but not winter.

This is insufficient critique for this forum.  Please read the guidelines for each forum before posting. 
-Quix
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#4
(05-10-2020, 09:29 PM)LSClanton Wrote:  I wake to tendrils of dancing snow
wafting up in skyward offering
to canny deities that know
to fill their coffers brimming
with illness, dark and death.
I must have overslept.

But no- the light is wrong it seems.
It nearly blinds as I take in
branches white, but tipped with green
Winter’s gasp before its end
A funeral duet begins and rises from my garden
an improvised hymn intoned by wind chime and robin

Is this cruelty, sorcery or chance?
The tulips bend, repentant in prayer
for their hasty, reckless entrance
forced from interment, gasping for air 
Only the daffodils seem to care
and lower their gaze in despair

The mid-day sun declares its answer,
melting conflict and all tension.
Tufts appear of bright green fur
and life begins to burgeon.
The seasons cycle, ceaseless, pre-written.
Jack Frost hurriedly recoils, finally back-bitten.

As commented above, I enjoy the way you cycle through a lot of seasonal imagery while still focusing on a theme of snow. Your tips to it in "branches white" then, in the last verse, "melting conflict" and the nod to Jack Frost all do nicely to tie things down to a central idea. There are times where, despite well-wrought rhymes, the lines flow a bit awkwardly. Specifically I'd point to "The tulips bend, repentant in prayer" as an area where the comma seems jarring, especially coming off the seamless "cruelty, sorcery, or chance" of the line before. That verse also stands out to me with entrance seeming ill-at-ease paired to chance, mostly because of the different 'a' sound- though that might differ by dialect and sound better in a voice other than the one in my head. I'd extend the same (entirely constructive!) criticism to your use of 'take in" in the second verse.

You've got some excellent imagery going though with the wafting tendrils of snow, branches tipped with green, the sound sense of your robin mention, and the focus on flower personification in the third paragraph. All of that I very much enjoyed. Throughout the poem I can picture your environments well and attach a mood and atmosphere to the lines, and the sprinkling of humor "I must have overslept" helps to support the structure.

Thanks for sharing!
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