What if I become a poet?
#1
My first post, but not the first poem I've written. Composed it when musing about being a poet.

          Lots 'n Lots of Questions (What if I become a Poet?)

                        What if I become a Poet,
                            and ply some wordy skills?
                        Would there be a worry
                            it might not pay the bills?

                        What if there's a message
                            that needs to get Out There?
                        Should I want that done,
                            or should I really care?

                        What if I get the message wrong
                           and leave the World confused?
                        Will citing poetic license
                           be a defense refused?

                        What if I write something
                           that's left dangling in the air?
                        Maybe that's OK
                           'cause interpretation's fair?

                       What if I become a Poet,
                          and ply some wordy skills.
                       And, just forget the worry
                          of solving worldly ills.
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#2
(02-07-2020, 09:27 PM)mjweise Wrote:            Lots 'n Lots of Questions (What if I become a Poet?)

                        What if I become a Poet,
                            and ply some wordy skills?
                        Would there be a worry
                            it might not pay the bills?

                        What if there's a message
                            that needs to get Out There?
                        Should I want that done,
                            or should I really care?

                        What if I get the message wrong
                           and leave the World confused?
                        Will citing poetic license
                           be a defense refused?

                        What if I write something
                           that's left dangling in the air?
                        Maybe that's OK
                           'cause interpretation's fair?

                       What if I become a Poet,
                          and ply some wordy skills.
                       And, just forget the worry
                          of solving worldly ills.

An interesting question - as a poet, are you in and of the world, commenting on it, or just in it?

In basic critique, though your line breaks make it four-line stanzas, the rhyme scheme makes the stanzas two lines, each breaking at a significant point.  That's nice.

In a couple of the stanzas, I have the feeling that your adherence to the rhyme scheme gets in the way of the story, or its logic.  That's particularly the case in stanza 4, where you're saying that interpretation is acceptable, or that it's unbiased, even if your poem fails to deliver its message.  "Fair" has a variety of meanings.  If the ambiguity was not intended (and it could be - nothing wrong with that) one useful trick is to go back to the line with which you're trying to rhyme and see how you could change *it* to give you a better, more flexible end-rhyme to work with later.

Another area to examine is rhythm.  Rhyme seems almost to require a fixed, or nearly fixed meter.  With apologies, I take the liberty of rewriting the first stanza to show what I mean:

What if I become a Poet,
  plying wordy skills?
Would there be a worry
  that it might not pay the bills?


This turns the verses into a regular rhythmic patter.  Now, it's entirely possible that your underlying idea is to show the writer may not have what it takes to become a poet, which would be at least as humorous as patter.

But these are just ideas to consider.  It's a fun, funny poem, and it reaches the question of relevance:  do I want to write about the world, and/or write to change it?  Fantasy and nonsense, or straight description, are all options.

So have fun while also amazing self and others.  It's an ill-paying profession, but a dynamite hobby.
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
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#3
I love it, I just don't think it should be centered, kinda makes it difficult to read. It is very inspiring and I can relate to that, I've thought about all of these too.
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