Lovers Quarrel
#1
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]A whisper in the wind, [/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]A light in the the night,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]Every time you smile my world gets so bright,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]As endless as the ocean,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]As potent as a potion,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]Your love drives my every single motion,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]Until time has ceased,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]Or my soul is leased,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]My love for you will never end.[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]I often wonder if you think about me,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]I think of you as I lay in bed,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]Every time I’m around you I overthink on what I said,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]Did you understand that I was kidding, and what I said was just a joke,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]Do you know that I think you’re amazing and not like normal folk,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]You’re so confident and outgoing, bright and so bubbly,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]Do you enjoy my company even though I’m a bit stubbly,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]You give me hope, we do our dance, the game seems to be in play,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]But you cause me to think too much when you’re cold to me the next day,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]What did I do, what is the problem, how do I fix what we were,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]I just want what we had that causes my heart to stir,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]I wonder if you think about me ever or at all,[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]Truth be told I wrote this poem because I know I stall.[/font][/font]
Reply
#2
To begin with, you seem to have some issue with the font you’re trying to use, which makes this nearly impossible to read. Secondly, if I’m seeing things correctly, the punctuation needs corrected. I’m sure spellcheck can help you with that. Thirdly, this feels very adolescent; like the type of poem that an inexperienced teenager would write. There are a lot of cliches, and the rhyming seems uncreative and often forced.
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!