Thinking of Trees
#1
Thinking of Trees

It doesn't even take a second
when opening morning eyes.
To know today is the first
of mourning.

Mistakes made yesterday,
or unfortunate victories?
Emerging out of water for breath,
as if being held under.

Gray areas, make one wonder.
Is sacrifice romantic?
Once dead inside, a drop of water
brought the old Deciduous leaves.

It did until the water fled.
Young Birch tethered to earth
a grave of the color it once had.
Still there after long dead.

I am not water,
I am just a boy.
Nor a tree or drought.

Sometimes this is what mornings bring out.
It is the best I can do.
Still doesn't make it easy,
to say goodbye to you.
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Rob Cave
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#2
Some commas serve the purpose of dashes, but that's all right, they're consistent. Though a period here or there seems out of place. You tend to be consistent in that too, over time. You use similarities more than similies or metaphor. Another tendency. As sincere Occasional poetry, that's what you do.
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#3
Thanks for the feedback rowens, I'll skimp down the punctuation, after re-reading later today I see how the poem could benefit. I have been struggling with writing lately, trying to find my voice, style, and direction. Anyways, thanks for the feedback!
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Rob Cave
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