To My Dear Mother
#1
To My Dear Mother:

I’m sorry I constantly make you unhappy -
With my short hair, although that’s what you like.
With my love for my family, and my love for you.
For listening to every word you ever said, 
for truly listening. And remembering 
those words I can never forget.
For becoming my own person, someone I can never lose.
Someone you desperately want to lose, but never want to let go of
You should already know she is gone, and I am here, but you 
Can never forgive me for that. For my breasts, and how I am a woman
And how I crave to embrace it, wherever I go
I want to scream that I am a woman, and I want everyone to see it.
For not being exactly what you tried to raise, for wanting to raise myself,
For her, everything I try to do for her that you resent me for - 
pierced earrings, love, kindness, hope, herself
How I present, I am myself and you can’t do anything about it
How I make you (undiagnosed)
The words you never stop saying to me, I always seem to make you unhappy
You can never be happy I can only be happy for me for her and for him 
You resent me for him and yet you can’t love what she loves or else
You are no longer a mother but instead a pawn in my game,
Something I used and no longer need, is that what you are?
You are a mother, but I am myself.

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Thank you, 
-Quix/admin
#2
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Hi em,
much to like here, but it seems to lose its way towards the end before finishing with a strong line.
Given the title, I'd have liked to have seen this better retain the flow, but not the form, of a letter.
You might also turn 'I'm sorry' into a refrain.

I think more could be done with the line breaks, as in ...

To My Dear Mother:

I'm sorry

I make you unhappy
(constantly).
With my short hair
with my love for you. - nothing wrong with any of these examples (a third would be nice),
the 'constantly' is a deft touch, but they never seem to be explained/developed.
Although you like all of these.

I'm sorry

for listening
to every word you ever said
truly
listening. And remembering
things I can never forget.

I'm sorry

for becoming
my own person.


When you say 'someone you desperately want to lose', do you mean 'someone you desperately
want gone' ?

This is basic, so I'll leave it there. Hope this is of some use.


Best, Knot


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