Gods
#1
Immensity [Immēnsitās]
swells at the back of my head
Understanding, which I cannot turn to see
Truths beyond comprehension
like trying to draw a Tree [drēogan]
from the fluttering light on the forest floor


Worship [Weorðscipe] 
we walk amongst beings who move without moving 
Who transcend love, cruelty, justice
and meaning 
the half betrays the whole
we learn [laistjan] 
too late


there will be no deliverance 
when the last pine is cut 
when oil undermines wood
when we topple our gods 
Creators of Life
in the name of progress 
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#2
The first two stanzas really don’t convey meaning to me. Here, I think, is your poem.


there will be no deliverance
when the last pine is cut
when oil undermines wood
when we topple our gods
in the name of progress
There is no escape from metre; there is only mastery. TS Eliot
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#3
(08-21-2019, 08:06 AM)Seraphim Wrote:  The first two stanzas really don’t convey meaning to me. Here, I think, is your poem.


there will be no deliverance
when the last pine is cut
when oil undermines wood
when we topple our gods
in the name of progress

Initially, I found this comment quite drastic but now I completely agree. I like the line about trying to draw a tree from the flattering light on the forest floor, very imaginative; I would like to see it somewhere in your poem but I have to agree that the point of your first two stanzas does not flow with the last one, which is really your poem.
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