The Table Cat
#1
The Table Cat

Ginger's on the desk, curled
between our sound systems main speaker
and the wife's faux-leather handbag.

His tail-tip spasms and swings
like a horse hair fly swatter
but slower, felinely.

The rest of Tippitoe is corpse-like,
though there's a slight rise and fall
of a fat belly under marmalade fur.

Pink pads on his paws are slightly pinker
that the skin of a barbie doll
with claws like barbless fishing hooks.

My chair; scarred like a scratching post
is covered in an old coat, a light one
with a tattered hemline and slit wrists.

The closed eyes and flat head;
(it's pressed against the plastic)
belies his alertness,

When I lean over to look at him he opens
one bleary eye, I feel I'm being judged
like some irritating Jehovah's Witness.
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#2
(03-22-2019, 04:21 PM)billy Wrote:  The Table Cat

Ginger's on the desk, curled
between our sound systems main speaker
and the wife's faux-leather handbag.

His tail-tip spasms and swings
like a horse hair fly swatter
but slower, felinely.

The rest of Tippitoe is corpse-like,
though there's a slight rise and fall
of a fat belly under marmalade fur.

Pink pads on his paws are slightly pinker
that the skin of a barbie doll
with claws like barbless fishing hooks.

My chair; scarred like a scratching post
is covered in an old coat, a light one
with a tattered hemline and slit wrists.

The closed eyes and flat head;
(it's pressed against the plastic)
belies his alertness,

When I lean over to look at him he opens
one bleary eye, I feel I'm being judged
like some irritating Jehovah's Witness.

In mild critique, "sound systems" in L2 tweaked my consistency hobgoblin - shouldn't there be an apostrophe somewhere in "systems?"  The wife (also possessive) got one, after all.

Same with the cat's name:  is it "Ginger" or "Tippitoe?"  No doubt the individual in question answers to either, to the extent that a cat answers as opposed to deigning to take notice.

My only other firm critique is to suggest a semicolon in the second-to-last line (replacing the colon between "eye" and "I").

Many nice phrases - "belies his alertness" is nice.  So is "slit wrists" of the old coat.

Oh, alright, one more:  if Tippitoe is capitalized, why not Barbie™?

A pleasant domestic scene.
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
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#3
thanks duke, all worthy of using in the edit. [except the ginger tippito name thing.] i call him ginger everyone else calls him tippitoe. it's got to the point as you say when he ignores both names Big Grin

(03-25-2019, 07:20 AM)dukealien Wrote:  
(03-22-2019, 04:21 PM)billy Wrote:  The Table Cat

Ginger's on the desk, curled
between our sound systems main speaker
and the wife's faux-leather handbag.

His tail-tip spasms and swings
like a horse hair fly swatter
but slower, felinely.

The rest of Tippitoe is corpse-like,
though there's a slight rise and fall
of a fat belly under marmalade fur.

Pink pads on his paws are slightly pinker
that the skin of a barbie doll
with claws like barbless fishing hooks.

My chair; scarred like a scratching post
is covered in an old coat, a light one
with a tattered hemline and slit wrists.

The closed eyes and flat head;
(it's pressed against the plastic)
belies his alertness,

When I lean over to look at him he opens
one bleary eye, I feel I'm being judged
like some irritating Jehovah's Witness.
In mild critique, "sound systems" in L2 tweaked my consistency hobgoblin - shouldn't there be an apostrophe somewhere in "systems?"  The wife (also possessive) got one, after all.

Same with the cat's name:  is it "Ginger" or "Tippitoe?"  No doubt the individual in question answers to either, to the extent that a cat answers as opposed to deigning to take notice.

My only other firm critique is to suggest a semicolon in the second-to-last line (replacing the colon between "eye" and "I").

Many nice phrases - "belies his alertness" is nice.  So is "slit wrists" of the old coat.

Oh, alright, one more:  if Tippitoe is capitalized, why not Barbie™?

A pleasant domestic scene.
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