"Tosspot"
#1
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v2

"Tosspot"


The swilling spirit washes
till the weakened flesh is seen.
Behold, the spineless creature
bent about the porcelain.

A mewling, puking, infant
bared, sobriety a sham.
Shank a shrunk, fool, flaccid,
drunk, outwitted by a dram.


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"Tosspot"



The swilling spirit washes
till the weakened flesh be seen.
Observe, the spineless creature
wrapped around the porcelain.

A mewling, puking, infant
bared, that sober mien a sham.
Shank a shrunk, fool, flaccid,
drunk, outwitted by a dram.




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#2
(01-22-2019, 11:13 PM)Knot Wrote:  .
"Tosspot"



The swilling spirit washes
till the weakened flesh be seen.
Observe, the spineless creature
wrapped around the porcelain.

A mewling, puking, infant
bared, that sober mien a sham.
Shank a shrunk, fool, flaccid,
drunk, outwitted by a dram.


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How wonderfully wretched and true.  Admire the parallel meter and abcb rhyme scheme, both of which fit the subject well (i.e. doing the same thing over, with always the same result).  What we used to call, in these parts, "knee-walkin', commode-huggin' drunk."
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#3
Thanks duke.

Love 'knee-walkin' - there's got to be a poem based on that phrase surely.
This nonsense immediately sprang to mind:

These knees were made for walkin'

and that's just what they'll do,
one of these days these knee
-walkers'll puke all over you.

Then, knee-walkin led me to the culturally sensitive topic of 'skin-walkers',
but neither me nor this tenfoot pole are touching that, so ... over to you!


Regards, Not.
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#4
- revised -
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#5
Nice sing song rhythm to it
“Spineless creature” is good!

Relatable
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#6
How you even make it to the toilet is what I'm asking. I've been able to feed orphans, girlfriends' bastard kids, on the hotdog chunks I've hocked up over the, last few months, years.
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#7
been there done that, it not good if you shit yourself as you're puking.
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#8
(01-24-2019, 12:15 PM)billy Wrote:  been there done that, it not good if you shit yourself as you're puking.

Especially if you are, as the saying goes, runny at both ends. Tongue
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
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#9
Thanks for the read (and comment) busker, appreciated.

Likewise, rowens, billy.


Regards, Knot..
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#10
Knot - There is an eerie attraction in this piece and I like it. Thanks for sharing. Namyh
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#11
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Thanks for reading  Smile Knot.

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