Addiction
#1
Everybody in my town is an alcoholic or a drug addict or on some kind of medication that makes them tired all the time, except for a few people, and they're sitting on social media every time you see them. I've been seeing these commercials for these big black things you put on your head to block out everything but the Internet. If those things catch on, what hope is there left? . . . Yeah, I get drunk, but at least I go out and make a fool of myself regularly. At least I'm on my feet.

And, yeah, people go to work. But they're on social media while they're there. And they work to stay alive so they can have a home to come to so nobody will disturb them while they're being social on social media. . . . I was told I can't get a date because girls are afraid to date guys who they can't check up on on social media. . . . I don't use social media because I found that all I did was check up on girls who had no interest in checking up on me. I found it exhausting, without even getting up out of a chair.
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#2
Remember Pavolov's dog?  Not the part about ringing the bell and the dog salivates (or its stomach produces digestive juices - they were big into vivisection back then and loved the idea of having a window in the dog's stomach), but that it was originally trained with actual food.  All those people on social media are salivating (or whacking off, virtually) to the bell.  Same with the legal and illegal drug hounds.

What this country needs is regular, sit-down meals at home (preferrably with other humans) instead of fast food.  Train the dog back to eating food without the bell, make it an actual dog again instead of a machine with a primitive video monitor on its stomach.  It might even develop an interest in other dogs.  Of course you have the problem of other dogs, who still have screens in their bellies, thinking it's weird and scary.

Saw an article the other day about the real problem with everything today is turning supplements into substitutes.  Drugs that supplemented health become necessary for life, social media that supplemented meeting people become substitutes for... like that.
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#3
we have a regular sit down breakie and evening meal. sadly one always has their phone on and earphones in, thankfully the rest of of us have general discussions. in general i hear such things are becoming a thing of the past. i admit to always being online years ago; i got sick of it though, too much shite and too many shitheads to deal with. now i use facebook to speak with family and visit the pen each day for perhaps an hour all told. i use to be a heavy drinker and in my earlier days had a penchant for nose candy. likewise with the drink, i git tired of all the bullshit that came with it. it took two massive heart attacks to avert me from the coke.
i think that social media detracts from it's namesake. okay, when keeping family members in touch i think it's a good thing, it's also a boon for getting information to a larger audience. i do think that for all it's good points it actually kills our society, it stops learning how to read body language, how to converse face to face. i know some who talk the back legs of donkeys when online yet in a real situation are unable to react with others. maybe online gives some the time to think before speaking and god knows it's sometimes needed. i think by spending all their time in virtual reality contact with others erodes a lot of personal contact. kids nowadays are on social media for hours on end playing games as well as other shit. like most things, i think being online in moderation a good thing, being on to much destroys our real life social infrastructure.
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#4
I don't want an online relationship. And I don't want a personal relationship to be online. Maybe I'm being a hardass; but I DON'T WANT my lovelife a part of the Online Community. I just don't. . . . Not that I have much of a lovelife anyway, but still.
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#5
I think maybe you just havent met enough people. I think if you did, you’d prefer that more of your relationships were online only. I think that your expectations about real life relationship far exceed their dull reality. They aren’t novel, they aren’t unique, and larger-picture they are rarely meaningful in any enduring way. You die, they die, and you will all die, well then the relationship is over. The internet, however, is forever.

Social media is an interactive tombstone.
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#6
Your advice reminds me of the people who talk about the 21 year old woman I've been seeing. And by seeing I mean looking at. They disapprove. They see me around her, and ask why don't I find somebody old and unattractive like myself. They say all I'm doing is setting myself up for later disappointment. I say, What? I should just settle for disappointment now to prevent further heartbreaks? . . . Sometimes I wonder if people ever experienced love at all.
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#7
maybe it's how you see others. my expectations about real life relationships are almost all unique our interactions are unique and the love joy and hate they bring all unique. you talk of dull reality, mine has been is rich and fresh. at present i live. they live, we have meaning. to look at death as a final thing diminishes these loves and hates. to say we die and the internet is forever makes me want to pee and giggle whilst sniggering. you're saying we die and the internet lives on. i say we die and we live on in the minds of others. your net wont live for ever. nothing will and thankfully it won't have a tombstone or be a tombstone. it will be forgotten quicker than the omega. we live on for generation after death. such things as the net and pc's will vanish from memories within two or three. by to real relationships., they're much more novel than any internet chat room or app. we have imagination. they have keyboards and mics. we don't need the internet, it like gods need us, without us it fades into obscurity. how do we know who or how many others have met. sorry but i disagree with you about the net, it's just smoke and mirrors. if you want smoke and mirrors then maybe you're correct life for you is a dull reality.

(12-15-2018, 02:13 PM)Xlateralus Wrote:  I think maybe you just havent met enough people. I think if you did, you’d prefer that more of your relationships were online only. I think that your expectations about real life relationship far exceed their dull reality. They aren’t novel, they aren’t unique, and larger-picture they are rarely meaningful in any enduring way. You die, they die, and you will all die, well then the relationship is over. The internet, however, is forever.

Social media is an interactive tombstone.
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#8
@Rowens, Yes. Well, gawking at some jailbate from a small distance or following her around breathing down her neck - that is something to be disapproved of. It’s creepy. Alternatively, following her face book or instagram and masterbating to each new post -markedly less creepy because it is unknown.

It’s not about “settling for disappointment” it’s about making the most of your actual reality.


@Billy. I think you are looking at it from an individual perspective. You might remember your father after he is dead, but no one wants to be regaled with stories about your memories with him. No one cares. Your dad isn’t remembered by anyone but you. On the other hand he if posted some video on youtube about how to refurbish a tool, that’s something many more people will value. People can form a relationship with him after he is dead on the internet. Relationships are give and take, off the internet after you die you have nothing to give.


I have yet to find someone who doesn’t want smoke and mirrors, at least to some degree. Even Rowens with his fantasies of banging a 21 year old — off the internet.

When you look at what society values, it’s clear that we all value the internet more than life. It’s a communal thing. You want to be remembered on the internet, because no one cares about life.

If society values the internet more than life, it’s individuals do. Look at how much we spend on the internet. The infrastructure, the security, the devices, the content. It’s mind boggling. Look at the remaining balance on the difference between what we spend creating death, and what we spend saving life.

Go on and tell me how real life relationships are more valuable than the internet. The hive mind disagrees.

I just thought, this sounds all negative but we are all missing the good of the internet. The safe harbor for whistleblowers, the nests and cocoons for creativity it creates, the opportunities it provides to overcome xenophobia and allow collaboration between cultures. These relationships are arguably more valuable (they create whole communities) than any personal relationship made off the internet. Real life relationships are too often created around duty, tribalism, and fear. Relationships created on the internet are formed by common interest and purpose



The internet is the cage in Schroeder’s Cat. Inside it, you can be alive and dead at the same time.
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#9
the hive mind? doesn't that answer your question? we lose our identity. i certainly don't want smoke and mirrors, i want mty kids kids to know the person they're speaking to isn't some 50 pervert. i don't want a relationship built on lies which many online ones are. what's wrong with duty. i have a duty to my kids to provide for them even when they grow up. i have a duty to protect them. i know people who tell me stories of my grand dad. this net isn't always going to be there. if facebook and google keep down the path their on it may go sooner than you think. [as we know it] what safe harbour for whistle blowers? assange has spent how many years locked up in some embassy, snowdon had to move to russia, manning was locked up in a military prison. this internet is the last place you want ti hide as a whistleblower, someone will out you if you do. while there is some good on the net we are talking about personal relationships and identity. when you mention cultural advance you're talking apples and oranges. but lets look at it, at what you say it helps; did it help kids in Yemen or even adults? did it help those in syria? china? russia? africa? to mention a fraction. it certainly didn't help the rowhinga. the help it creates is but a ripple on the waters of poverty, peace and oppression. back to the hive mind; is that what we really want? or is it what we've been told we want or need. sorry, i have a mind of my own. i may use the net but i don't allow it to be me or my life. i do not live in or on or near it. i feel for those who do because i see them as the one's who truly live in fear, fear of the warts and the nuts and bolts. so there's a vid of my dad fixing a car on the net; you think that's what people will remember him for or by? we live we die we are carried in those we leave behind, do we care if we have vids and pics on the net? will the feed our kids? they're just fluff not even real fluff, just the virtual stuff. Does society value the internet more than life, do you believe that? seriously, and if you do do you think that a good thing? as for wanting smoke and mirrors, sorry but i don't, of course i lie a little keep things secret now and again but that isn't smoke and mirrors. if someone wants to know something about me i tell them warts and all.

real v virtual? the real is real, i can touch them smell them see their body language make a good guess as to who or what they are. virtual, generally lies and bullshit, take a look at all the shit on facebook, 50% of what you see are force fed fuckin adverts, targeted adverts from other and all the other sites you visit. as i said i use the net, i keep in touch with mt friends and family through and for that i'm grateful. i run an internet poetry site overall i may spend an hour or so on line. on my site and talking with my family.

overcoming xenophobia? again really, have you see the hate people spout on here, stuff they'd never do in really life. more kids commit suicide from bullying on the net than in real life. just look at the hackers, the black hatters, the racist post, the hate speech all the things you say are good have all the opposites in equal abundance. in real life we have the same but most would say boo to mouse off line. and yes i am looking at it from a personal perspective, you say my feelings are based on tribalism and fear. it's a lot less in real life than it is on here. the tribalism on line is ubiquitous you have to join or log on to this group or that. the on'y hive you speak of is the number of people on here, they're not of a like mind by a long shot. there's more factions at play here than there are grains of sand in the Gobi. million, tens of millions of different groups shout down or up each other. even on face book. say something someone doesn't like and they go after you like fuckin wolves Big Grin so i don't see the common interest as much as i see social discord. just look at this thread. imaging if this was out there on facebook? they'd shouting for me to hung drawn and quartered. your hive mind isn't hive mind it a conglomerate of millions of differing hive minds, if you think that a good thing then that's what you think, i've said what and why i think as i do. i tried not to speak in generalizations though some got in there.

just an addenda, there's more than me in my family, it goes back three generations and is rather large just a thoughts. there ais something else which gives food for thought;

Six degrees of separation is the theory that any person on the planet can be connected to any other person on the planet through a chain of acquaintances that has no more than five intermediaries.

this thought was around before the internet, now that's reality
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#10
I don't want common interest and purpose. I want uncommon interest. People different from me. That's why my best friends are strangers. And why I love talking to my family who are ignorant and a girl who is beautiful. Nothing like me. I don't think I could stand being around someone like me.
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#11
This thread begs the question:  Are you better online or in person?  Maybe better isn't the right word.
You can't hate me more than I hate myself.  I win.

"When the spirit of justice eloped on the wings
Of a quivering vibrato's bittersweet sting."

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#12
valid point. that said does better mean honest, open and sincere? if so i'd say we're talking about in person [generally speaking] i do admit to being the same online as off line but i'm sure that's not the norm. for many yes but for most, no.

(12-16-2018, 12:37 PM)NobodyNothing Wrote:  This thread begs the question:  Are you better online or in person?  Maybe better isn't the right word.
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#13
(12-16-2018, 12:44 PM)billy Wrote:  valid point. that said does better mean honest, open and sincere? if so i'd say we're talking about in person [generally speaking] i do admit to being the same online as off line but i'm sure that's not the norm. for many yes but for most, no.

(12-16-2018, 12:37 PM)NobodyNothing Wrote:  This thread begs the question:  Are you better online or in person?  Maybe better isn't the right word.

What I've personally liked about "online" communication (messageboards, email, and the like...) was that it gave me the chance to think a little bit more before I spoke/wrote, created that separation between thought and expression in which I found, more often than not, I was better able to render both my thoughts and their expressions more fully in some sort of way.  Irony, doubt, the validity of other points of view, and even humility had more time to wiggle their way into my mind and heart as I thought and expressed myself.

I'm pretty much always sincerely myself, online or in person, however, excepting when I'm consciously trying not to be, for some reason or another. 

In person, I'm a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde, which, at times, can drive those close to me crazy.  My Jekyll is this soft and lovey and everything is beautiful person, and my Hyde is this person stuck on some ideal that I can't stop believing in and too often push beyond the border where my point was already made. 

I don't know.  I guess it all comes down to self editing.
You can't hate me more than I hate myself.  I win.

"When the spirit of justice eloped on the wings
Of a quivering vibrato's bittersweet sting."

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#14
we all have more than one side but i think that on the net people tend to not tell all the truth supplementing what little truth they do show with lots of bullshit. i do see people who obviously not bullshitting but i see a hell of a lot more who are patently bullshitting. i'm surprised at how many people have achieved such greatness if what they say online is true. then you get the online warriors who wouldn't say boo to a mouse in real life. the most common one in poetry groups is "i have an english lit degree or a degree in creative writing" when they seriously do not. these statements are often used in arguments. i find them more funny than irksome but as i say most people who bullshit prefer to live online than in the real world.
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#15
My problem is, a lot of people don't like me, and when I try to improve myself it just comes off as fake. And between thought and expression . . . now I have to pull out a Velvet Underground record.
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#16
People used to get in trouble for being on their phones at work, now you get paid to update your social media.

Is embellishing a story the same as being fake? That can happen anywhere
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#17
The world is a complex place. Or it was. Life is a complex thing. I think it should be. If we were all in Heaven, we'd die of boredom. Am I not the only one who noticed that Xlateralus was just talking shit. And am I the only one, from experience, that knows that shit is an excellent source of the vital nutrients?
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#18
it depends how large the embellishment Confused go in any chat room which i don't do and many are complete new characters. that have done this or that or can do this or that. as usual there are some who need a different identity because life can be so hard for them in many different ways, those people i can understand.

(12-17-2018, 01:07 AM)CRNDLSM Wrote:  Is embellishing a story the same as being fake?  That can happen anywhere
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