A Widowed Muse
#1
A Widowed Muse

To be sure, you'll outlive me

you with your quinoa 
and your couscous
and your mornings in the gym

mornings I'm lucky to wake
from whatever poisons I take
to wiggle the pen at night

to scribble in ink 

to put a piece of you to paper

to be sure you'll outlive me.

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#2
Yes. I too want to be survived by the people I write about, so that I don't have to suffer their loss, my loss really, and so there'll be no one around to have the last word.
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#3
Really dig this one, love how the poem comes full circle. Also how mindful it is of itself. Thanks for the read
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Rob Cave
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#4
The way that you write about this person reflects to me how love should be. We should love through admiration and through wanting to see the best for that individual. We should also acknowledge the best in that individual. Love should be selfless as you mirrored in this piece. I love it, as it paints a picture, not only visually, but it pushes you into deeper thought about what those we love really mean to us.
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#5
Really nice! Though the (accidental?) rhyme in the middle kind of jars. Maybe change ‘take’ to something else suitable?

Thanks for the read  Big Grin
Graham
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#6
This continues to please, I especially like the title and "wiggle".
Thanks for posting it, it has a clarity that for me allows for bigger thoughts on couples.


(06-06-2018, 02:21 PM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  A Widowed Muse

To be sure, you'll outlive me

you with your quinoa 
and your couscous
and your mornings in the gym

mornings I'm lucky to wake
from whatever poisons I take
to wiggle the pen at night

to scribble in ink 

to put a piece of you to paper

to be sure you'll outlive me.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

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#7
Well, well, well, Paul-

This is just to say
that I very much appreciate the flavor of your brevity.

You've posted some very cool plums lately.

Wiggle on,
...Mark
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#8
Thanks for reading and commenting guys. I'm not 100% satisfied with this but there is a lot I like about it. Glad it was enjoyable.
Paul

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#9
(06-06-2018, 02:21 PM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  A Widowed Muse

To be sure, you'll outlive me

you with your quinoa 
and your couscous
and your mornings in the gym

mornings I'm lucky to wake
from whatever poisons I take
to wiggle the pen at night

to scribble in ink 

to put a piece of you to paper

to be sure you'll outlive me.


Thesudden rhyme in the middle is disconcerting. 
Wiggling the pen is unintentionally hilarious
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