Inheritance* by dukealien
#1
Inheritance


When he was five, young Gerald’s father spanked
him angrily for playing near the edge,
tormenting animals, and most of all
for toying with himself.  Young Gerald learned
what things were right and wrong, and soon forgot
those loving pains and terrors that had taught
him which was which.  At thirty-three his shrink
recovered memories that showed his angst was caused
by rage and anger, violent abuse
his father had inflicted on a son
he hated.  Gerald took it all to heart
and never punished his son Ted except
with smiling time-outs.  No-one could explain
why Ted turned out sadistic and depraved,
thrill-seeking and amoral - unafraid
of playing near the edge.  Old Gerald thought
this vicious streak must be inherited:
Ted’s grandfather, he told himself, was mad.


* Original thread can be found here.
It could be worse
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#2
Good choice. Gut-slamming poem.
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#3
Ugh, well done, duke.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

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#4
Solid write, Duke. Congratulations! Thumbsup
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#5
(02-25-2018, 05:51 PM)just mercedes Wrote:  Good choice. Gut-slamming poem.

In fairness, I must thank @Cousin Kil, @Carrie Birdsong, @BecktheDog, @RiverNotch, and @Brownlie for their improving critiques.  Thanks!
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#6
It's a glorious example of great writing choices being supported by thoughtful critique. But it's also an example of a talented writer who is humble enough to accept criticism and improve a poem to the point where it becomes excellent. Well done.
It could be worse
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#7
Another one I missed, it’s great to see how this one developed, I enjoyed the narrative behind this and it made me think about my own children and how their personalities stood out at such young ages, Congratulations on a well written spotlight. Best Keith

If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
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#8
Nicely done, Duke. This is a hard one not to read and enjoy.
Time is the best editor.
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#9
I love the take on nature vs nurture and I love that the subject of the poem thinks it to be one way but it seems very suggestive that it' really not what he thinks. This poem is well written and very relatable.
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#10
i so want you to rename it "tedtalks" Big Grin

loved it, personally i think we are who we are. but loved the connections made within the poem. great choice leanne.
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#11
(03-02-2018, 08:05 AM)billy Wrote:  i so want you to rename it "tedtalks" Big Grin

loved it, personally i think we are who we are. but loved the connections made within the poem. great choice leanne.

But Ted doesn't, other than to brag and chat up new victims Wink  . 

Seriously, though, I had to look up the meme.  TED Talks - if only I had the time and attention span to gorge on all that expertise!
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#12
(02-25-2018, 05:31 PM)Leanne Wrote:  Inheritance


When he was five, young Gerald’s father spanked
him angrily for playing near the edge,
tormenting animals, and most of all
for toying with himself.  Young Gerald learned
what things were right and wrong, and soon forgot
those loving pains and terrors that had taught
him which was which.  At thirty-three his shrink
recovered memories that showed his angst was caused
by rage and anger, violent abuse
his father had inflicted on a son
he hated.  Gerald took it all to heart
and never punished his son Ted except
with smiling time-outs.  No-one could explain
why Ted turned out sadistic and depraved,
thrill-seeking and amoral - unafraid
of playing near the edge.  Old Gerald thought
this vicious streak must be inherited:
Ted’s grandfather, he told himself, was mad.


* Original thread can be found here.
Powerful writing, good work, I like the narrative in this piece and the imagery.
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#13
I must've missed this one when it got spotlit. Excellent stuff.
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