The cherry trees* by Keith
#1
The cherry trees

In heavy rain
underneath dripping branches
we dispersed you,
watched you,
watered down swirling into eddies,
sinking underground.

You'd burst bright into life
all pink and white,
our summers waiting
for your first smile.

I'd like to think it was the sunlight
filtered through the white blossom,
that found the corner of your mouth
and snatched away your breath,
but they never really told us.

In the quiet of our home
lemon walls were waiting,
the farm yard mobile above your cot
clicked on,
a single chime that made me
close the door.

I pour myself some tea
and look to the garden,
the trees now are fully grown,
and still they lay down
their blankets,
giving up each short life
to help keep you warm,
as they do every year.



* Original thread can be found here
It could be worse
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#2
Nicely done, Keith! A beautiful addition to the spotlight. Thumbsup
The Soufflé isn’t the soufflé; the soufflé is the recipe. --Clara 
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#3
Beautifully realized poem, Keith.
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#4
Congratulations, Keith.
I remember this poem.
Still precious.
there's always a better reason to love
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#5
(02-25-2018, 09:47 AM)Leanne Wrote:  The cherry trees

In heavy rain
underneath dripping branches
we dispersed you,
watched you,
watered down swirling into eddies,
sinking underground.

You'd burst bright into life
all pink and white,
our summers waiting
for your first smile.

I'd like to think it was the sunlight
filtered through the white blossom,
that found the corner of your mouth
and snatched away your breath,
but they never really told us.

In the quiet of our home
lemon walls were waiting,
the farm yard mobile above your cot
clicked on,
a single chime that made me
close the door.

I pour myself some tea
and look to the garden,
the trees now are fully grown,
and still they lay down
their blankets,
giving up each short life
to help keep you warm,
as they do every year.



* Original thread can be found here

This goes in to The Poems...objections?
tectak
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#6
There was one point where I started looking forward to Keith's posts. This poem was one of his clear standouts. I liked it when I first read it. I like the work he did on it. Well deserved spotlight.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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#7
I think it's a stunner, myself. I've been trawling the forums the last couple of days as I really did need to remind myself who we do this for. There is some spectacular talent here and we should never forget it.
It could be worse
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#8
What a knockout, Keith.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

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#9
Another triumph, Keith, and recognition well deserved.
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#10
You are all very kind, I had a lot of really good feedback that helped shaped this one, I’m not sure it will ever have a final form but I’m very pleased Leanne has pulled it into the spotlight. Many thanks Keith

If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
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#11
Great work, Keith. The ending isn't just wonderful, it's powerful.
Time is the best editor.
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#12
Great poem Keith! Way to go! Reading it was enjoyable.
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#13
My favorite poem by Keith. It's one of the poems you read and think this guy has the goods.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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