The Artists' Sentence
#1
The Artists' Sentence

I am convicted
of discerning a beauty
pencils cannot sketch

pigment cannot paint
and words embarass themselves
pretending to know 

a flirtatious muse
who would never give it up
to any of us

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#2
(02-14-2018, 06:42 PM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  The Artists' Sentence

I am convicted
of knowing a beautiful       Huh? Shome mishtake here, shurely?
pencils cannot sketch

pigment cannot paint
and words embarass themselves
pretending to know 

a flirtatious muse
who would never give it up
to any of us

You have to sleep with your muse, Tiger. Anything else is but a suspended sentence.... Wink
Best, 
 tectak
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#3
(02-14-2018, 08:55 PM)tectak Wrote:  
(02-14-2018, 06:42 PM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  The Artists' Sentence

I am convicted
of knowing a beautiful       Huh? Shome mishtake here, shurely? Edited, thanks. I won't even try to explain.  Blush
pencils cannot sketch

pigment cannot paint
and words embarass themselves
pretending to know 

a flirtatious muse
who would never give it up
to any of us

You have to sleep with your muse, Tiger. Anything else is but a suspended sentence.... Wink Indeed. 
Best, 
 tectak

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#4
it might lead to confusion but, though grammatically disrupted, the first version still made sense to me and was an original read, even if unintended.
i´ve read it like this:
"i know a beautiful  pencils cannot sketch, pigments cannot paint and words embarrass themselves to know a flirtatious-muse. "
the next line sort of swallowed the sentence before.
(but i like it as it is now, too)
...
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#5
(02-23-2018, 09:43 AM)vagabond Wrote:  it might lead to confusion but, though grammatically disrupted, the first version still made sense to me and was an original read, even if unintended.
i´ve read it like this:
"i know a beautiful  pencils cannot sketch, pigments cannot paint and words embarrass themselves to know a flirtatious-muse. "
the next line sort of swallowed the sentence before.
(but i like it as it is now, too)

I wish I could say that was my intention. In reality I was hoping "beautiful" would translate as a noun- almost a proper noun- but I shied from capping it. In the end I figured first impression is important and it misfired.

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