Good Morning
#1
[Image: ncdukj.jpg]

sloppy forecast
ugly news
still gifts arise
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

Reply
#2
"Red in the morning,
sailor take warning..."

But we landlubbers can just sip our coffee and enjoy it.

Were there loons?  There should be loons.
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
Reply
#3
Nah, only ducks. Loons come for an occasional visit but they don't live here.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

Reply
#4
(12-25-2017, 01:44 AM)ellajam Wrote:  Nah, only ducks. Loons come for an occasional visit but they don't live here.

Sounds like you're talking about the pigpen.  big hug

Reply
#5
(12-25-2017, 04:53 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  
(12-25-2017, 01:44 AM)ellajam Wrote:  Nah, only ducks. Loons come for an occasional visit but they don't live here.
Sounds like you're talking about the pigpen.  big hug
Hysterical Hysterical

We've got swans and herons too, and bald eagles the last few years. Must be getting old. Big Grin
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

Reply
#6
(12-24-2017, 09:23 PM)ellajam Wrote:  [Image: ncdukj.jpg]

sloppy forecast
ugly news
still gifts arise

great view.

(still adds nothing)
Reply
#7
I love still, I considered leaving it out but I love its pause, its pivot.

Merry Christmas, milo. big hug
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

Reply
#8
(12-25-2017, 11:37 AM)ellajam Wrote:  I love still, I considered leaving it out but I love its pause, its pivot.

Merry Christmas, milo.  big hug

well, I am certainly on pro, but maybe it would work better in the classic cut position?

sloppy forecast 
ugly news still
gifts arise
Reply
#9
Maybe

ugly news
sloppy forecast still
gifts arise

nah, maybe ditch it and start again, always another sunrise. Smile
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

Reply
#10
(12-25-2017, 10:19 PM)ellajam Wrote:  Maybe

ugly news
sloppy forecast still
gifts arise

nah, maybe ditch it and start again, always another sunrise. Smile

Keep it. Set it aside. Work on it. As long as there is another sunrise we have time.

Merry Christmas, I recognized the view.
Fondly.
Reply
#11
seriously, the original is perfect. moving the “still” around is the epitome of unnecessary faffing about. of which milo is definitely a pro.
Reply
#12
(12-26-2017, 06:41 AM)shemthepenman Wrote:  seriously, the original is  perfect. moving the “still” around is the epitome of unnecessary faffing about. of which milo is definitely a pro.
Always fun to think about it and see what happens with a shuffle. That's what I'm here for, the faffing about, enjoyment in the play.

The light of day is a wonderful thing to open your eyes to, as is a friendly chat, especially when it's about poems.

Wishing you some happiness in the new year, shem.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

Reply
#13
(12-26-2017, 07:31 AM)ellajam Wrote:  
(12-26-2017, 06:41 AM)shemthepenman Wrote:  seriously, the original is  perfect. moving the “still” around is the epitome of unnecessary faffing about. of which milo is definitely a pro.

Always fun to think about it and see what happens with a shuffle. That's what I'm here for, the faffing about, enjoyment in the play.

The light of day is a wonderful thing to open your eyes to, as is a frienly chat, especially when its about poems.

Wishing you some happiness in the new year, shem.

Always found "still" to be an exceedingly useful word, manifold in meaning and connotation. Also has a bit of an ellipsis quality about it. Still...

Reply
#14
(12-26-2017, 07:31 AM)ellajam Wrote:  
(12-26-2017, 06:41 AM)shemthepenman Wrote:  seriously, the original is  perfect. moving the “still” around is the epitome of unnecessary faffing about. of which milo is definitely a pro.

Always fun to think about it and see what happens with a shuffle. That's what I'm here for, the faffing about, enjoyment in the play.

The light of day is a wonderful thing to open your eyes to, as is a frienly chat, especially when its about poems.

Wishing you some happiness in the new year, shem.

i’m sure rearranging hamlet is “fun”. it’s still faffing. trust yourself. milo is one of the worst critics on the site. i would ignore his advice like the plague.
Reply
#15
(12-26-2017, 06:41 AM)shemthepenman Wrote:  seriously, the original is  perfect. moving the “still” around is the epitome of unnecessary faffing about. of which milo is definitely a pro.

For me, still doesn’t work, for some it is perfect. I am more than happy to be wrong.

Merry Christmas Shem
Reply
#16
(12-26-2017, 08:53 AM)milo Wrote:  
(12-26-2017, 06:41 AM)shemthepenman Wrote:  seriously, the original is  perfect. moving the “still” around is the epitome of unnecessary faffing about. of which milo is definitely a pro.

For me, still doesn’t work, for some it is perfect. I am more than happy to be wrong.

Merry Christmas Shem

yeah, you are wrong.
Reply
#17
(12-26-2017, 08:37 AM)shemthepenman Wrote:  
(12-26-2017, 07:31 AM)ellajam Wrote:  
(12-26-2017, 06:41 AM)shemthepenman Wrote:  seriously, the original is  perfect. moving the “still” around is the epitome of unnecessary faffing about. of which milo is definitely a pro.
Always fun to think about it and see what happens with a shuffle. That's what I'm here for, the faffing about, enjoyment in the play.

The light of day is a wonderful thing to open your eyes to, as is a frienly chat, especially when its about poems.

Wishing you some happiness in the new year, shem.
i’m sure rearranging hamlet is “fun”. it’s still faffing. trust yourself. milo is one of the worst critics on the site. i would ignore his advice like the plague.
This last comment is inappropriate in this forum. ella/admin
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

Reply
#18
(12-26-2017, 08:26 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  
(12-26-2017, 07:31 AM)ellajam Wrote:  
(12-26-2017, 06:41 AM)shemthepenman Wrote:  seriously, the original is  perfect. moving the “still” around is the epitome of unnecessary faffing about. of which milo is definitely a pro.
Always fun to think about it and see what happens with a shuffle. That's what I'm here for, the faffing about, enjoyment in the play.

The light of day is a wonderful thing to open your eyes to, as is a frienly chat, especially when its about poems.

Wishing you some happiness in the new year, shem.
Always found "still" to be an exceedingly useful word, manifold in meaning and connotation. Also has a bit of an ellipsis quality about it. Still...
Yes, that's exactly how I hear it. Smile Still, milo's ear for words to reconsider in my poems has always been so on the money I will always give them some extra thought. Why not? Big Grin
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

Reply
#19
(12-24-2017, 09:23 PM)ellajam Wrote:  [Image: ncdukj.jpg]

sloppy forecast
ugly news
still gifts arise

i enjoy this kind of effort, not just the mult-media fullness of the image, but the anecdotal phrasing which reframes its historical meaning
plutocratic polyphonous pandering 
Reply
#20
(01-03-2018, 11:53 PM)Thunderembargo Wrote:  
(12-24-2017, 09:23 PM)ellajam Wrote:  [Image: ncdukj.jpg]

sloppy forecast
ugly news
still gifts arise
i enjoy this kind of effort, not just the mult-media fullness of the image, but the anecdotal phrasing which reframes its historical meaning
Good morning to you too. I'm glad you enjoyed the moment, that was my goal. Smile
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!