Untitled From NaPM 2017 any crit
#1
Reagan didn't make it,
another faux Paul.
If England could do it, we needed it.
Of course you didn't notice,
you landed on the moon. 

I thought Kevin Kline 
would destroy everything with Dave,
but no one believes the movies,
not even him.  So they did it again,
and now I'm dying.  Control

was never in my hands until now.
Now, you won't believe me, but 10
more years you must.  The curse 
that took one every 20 will take
one more before 2028.  Harrison

messed up, and Bush's son
had to pay.  Now I'm dying,
and can tell you all.  It happened
once and will happen again.
Remember, remember Tippecanoe!
It's fantastic!
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#2
Hmmm... the thread topic was a poem, none of which was true (2/13).  So on the content level, any perceived true statement is open to criticism? Huh

(11-21-2017, 09:17 AM)CRNDLSM Wrote:  Reagan didn't make it,
another faux Paul.
If England could do it, we needed it.
Of course you didn't notice,
you landed on the moon. 

I thought Kevin Kline 
would destroy everything with Dave,
but no one believes the movies,
not even him.  So they did it again,
and now I'm dying.  Control

was never in my hands until now.
Now, you won't believe me, but 10
more years you must.  The curse 
that took one every 20 will take
one more before 2028.  Harrison

messed up, and Bush's son
had to pay.  Now I'm dying,
and can tell you all.  It happened
once and will happen again.
Remember, remember tippecanoe!


I think I get the content (alt reality where Reagan, like Garfield, was assassinated in '81) and Bush I escaped McKinley's fate in '01.  Who will fill Harding's shoes?  Perhaps natural-causes death in office (like Harrison I) is the price we pay for electing older men, though that didn't help young Kennedy.

Can't help wondering why "tippecanoe," a proper place name, is not capitalized.  But if we're getting technical, "Dave" should be italicized or something to show it's the title of a work.

As long as we have human presidents, some will die in office.  As for the English system (I know, but the rest of Britain got swept under that crown), look at the mischief inheritance can cause when parties attach to it instead of succession being attached to parties and voting!  Sometimes you have to have silly games even for non-trivial prizes - because non-trivial games tend to involve tanks in the streets.  (And they ain't filled with whiskey, Harrison I to the contrary.)
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
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#3
(11-22-2017, 06:44 AM)dukealien Wrote:  Hmmm... the thread topic was a poem, none of which was true (2/13).  So on the content level, any perceived true statement is open to criticism  Huh
I wrote it under pressure and was looking for anything, validity. Too much like a puzzle to figure out, facts wrong even though they're supposed to be untrue.  Since Reagan supposedly broke the curse, I made him the first to be secretly replaced like Paul McCartney or dave.  Conspiracys.   The narrator is supposed to be the guy who replaced bush when he died,  but I put Bush's son, so I got that wrong.  I think in that case I should change 2028 to 2021? Too much implied to keep it all straight.


I think I get the content (alt reality where Reagan, like Garfield, was assassinated in '81) and Bush I escaped McKinley's fate in '01.  Who will fill Harding's shoes?  Perhaps natural-causes death in office (like Harrison I) is the price we pay for electing older men, though that didn't help young Kennedy.

Can't help wondering why "tippecanoe," a proper place name, is not capitalized.  But if we're getting technical, "Dave" should be italicized or something to show it's the title of a work.
Definitely made these changes thank you!
As long as we have human presidents, some will die in office.  As for the English system (I know, but the rest of Britain got swept under that crown), look at the mischief inheritance can cause when parties attach to it instead of succession being attached to parties and voting!  Sometimes you have to have silly games even for non-trivial prizes - because non-trivial games tend to involve tanks in the streets.  (And they ain't filled with whiskey, Harrison I to the contrary.)
 tanks of whisky would be a fun game
It's fantastic!
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