< old love >
#1
   

                                                İmage
   

                                                                    < old love >
   
                                                        i remember when we first met
   
                                                          looking between your legs
   
                                                        wanting what was down there
   

                                                                        still do
   
                                                                          - - -
   

   
    Image: Famous Helen Mirren at 69 photograph (Is it cheating to use Helen Mirren. Yes.)
    (Does Helen Mirren dilute the intent of the poem? Yes.)

    Would be delighted to find out what thoughts you had while reading this... not interpretations of my words, but what the words got you to think about.
    (Though off or on-topic remarks, clever abuse, response poems, and criticism are welcome as well.)
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#2
No, I don't think it's cheating or diluting to use an example of someone who is aging particularly well, the same way seeing the "perfect" young body didn't make me less passionate for what I had at home then.
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#3
(05-27-2017, 12:48 PM)rayheinrich Wrote:      

                                                İmage
   

                                                                    < old love >
   
                                                        i remember when we first met
   
                                                          looking between your legs
   
                                                        wanting what was down there
   

                                                                        still do
   
                                                                          - - -
   

   
    Image: Famous Helen Mirren at 69 photograph (Is it cheating to use Helen Mirren. Yes.)
    (Does Helen Mirren dilute the intent of the poem? Yes.)

    Would be delighted to find out what thoughts you had while reading this... not interpretations of my words, but what the words got you to think about.
    (Though off or on-topic remarks, clever abuse, response poems, and criticism are welcome as well.)

First thought that came to mind was the loose ends we leave with people we've lusted over. It made me think of some of the women I never actually tried for in fear of rejection, yet in a heart beat would fix that mistake.
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#4
I enjoyed the poem it made me compare young and old love, well sex really becuase the focus it set between legs. It made me think of intemacy and being happy just to be close, at both ages. For me the image is too precise it leads the reader away from their own path and makes the poem about a female from a male perspective when it actually could be read from a female perspective without the image. The matter of factness of the last line, the confirmation that nothing has changed over the years could be softer but I'm not sure it would work as well. Nothing else to add at this time, but very much enjoyed the memory recall Ray. Best Keith

If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
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#5
The last line was a let down, I thought. It was a bland way to end the poem.
And yes, using Helen Mirren is cheating
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe
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