Passing Through With You
#2
(01-19-2023, 06:52 AM)Mark A Becker Wrote:  For the Bees

Some flowers
don't smell
so pretty,
but bees
don't seem to mind.

Some days
didn't smell
so pretty,
but we've left those
all behind.                       

The road
ahead
is cloudy now,                       never seen a cloudy road...foggy, dim, darkening ?
what else left                 maybe insert "is".......what else is left
to find?

More
flowers?
Yours,
or
mine?                         I just don't quite get the ending stanza.  I see the connection to bees, but I think it may be too pared down to make a satisfying ending for a reader.  "Yours/or/mine?" leaves it so wide open, it could mean anything.
My thoughts.

Tim
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Messages In This Thread
Passing Through With You - by Mark A Becker - 01-19-2023, 06:52 AM
RE: For the Bees - by TranquillityBase - 01-19-2023, 10:02 AM
RE: For the Bees - by Mark A Becker - 01-19-2023, 09:11 PM
RE: For the Bees - by RiverNotch - 01-19-2023, 08:05 PM



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