01-22-2023, 01:49 AM
a couple of housekeeping edits:
...huntergatherer
comes (not come)
...please don't use 'very' in any poem moving forward. Ever.
...I don't mind the 'baby' reference as it is introduced in S3
...last image is kick ass.
...an adjective like 'fading' is okay but a bit redundant when coupled with the following line.
...the edit is GOOD in its now use of stanzas. I like that improvement. Muchly.
I enjoyed reading this. A keeper.
...huntergatherer
comes (not come)
...please don't use 'very' in any poem moving forward. Ever.
...I don't mind the 'baby' reference as it is introduced in S3
...last image is kick ass.
...an adjective like 'fading' is okay but a bit redundant when coupled with the following line.
...the edit is GOOD in its now use of stanzas. I like that improvement. Muchly.
I enjoyed reading this. A keeper.