2002
#2
(01-01-2023, 12:25 AM)s3 Wrote:  2002 

Dry soil, dust lifting, and underneath it
a floating wound or flaxen youngness...                    needs something other than "youngness"....awkward phrase as it stands
how you could run so fast but never get very far
is a mystery of its own. 
A tragedy far removed from your prime
yet still fully formed in its image. 

With growing unease
I stare at the fading edges of your photograph
and I think of what you were, 
what survived you: heat, water, bone, 
your fear of the light, a favorite lipstick, maybe.

Standing at the gorge, the hunter-gatherer
come to the end of his route, 
he finds the yellow canyons of his youth exchanged
for flat prairie. Looking for the warp over the scar, 
the yolk on your fingers, a twin without twin: 
what did you realize
when you did?                           

Nursing by the small window, 
condensation tracking down the water glass
and breast milk drying on your skin, 
the ants in my ear humming a strange lullaby; 
in stillness, stars could burn you 
but metal couldn't cut you. 

Springtime in Texas: 
white blossoms cupping your smile, 
the baby. Sun                                                      this line seems orphaned....too disconnected.....whose baby?  I assume yours, so why not say "my baby"
over your head, and the asphalt under your feet
warming, a warning.
Entropy studies me the way I study
  you.
This is a very interesting poem with a unique voice.  Fabulous last line!  The connections from stanza to stanza (as I broke it up with line breaks, which I think would aid the reader) are elusive but not in a damaging way.  Altogether a pleasure to read.

Welcome to Pig Pen,
TqB
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Messages In This Thread
2002 - by s3 - 01-01-2023, 12:25 AM
RE: 2002 - by TranquillityBase - 01-01-2023, 01:07 AM
RE: 2002 - by TrevorConway - 01-09-2023, 05:10 PM
RE: 2002 - by rowens - 01-21-2023, 07:46 AM
RE: 2002 - by 71degrees - 01-22-2023, 01:49 AM
RE: 2002 - by TranquillityBase - 01-22-2023, 02:44 AM
RE: 2002 - by s3 - 02-07-2023, 03:05 AM
RE: 2002 - by TranquillityBase - 02-07-2023, 06:23 AM
RE: 2002 - by TranquillityBase - 02-09-2023, 12:46 AM
RE: 2002 - by Mark A Becker - 02-09-2023, 04:12 AM



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