05-18-2023, 09:10 AM
Thanks Bryn, I agree with most of your points, and have made some changes based on them.
I'm not sure about 'without warmth' - I somewhat agree with you in that it could maybe be improved, but I like how it contrasts with the burn and to me 'without warmth' also implies an interpersonal coldness (not sure if that translates to readers) which I like.
I'm not sure about 'without warmth' - I somewhat agree with you in that it could maybe be improved, but I like how it contrasts with the burn and to me 'without warmth' also implies an interpersonal coldness (not sure if that translates to readers) which I like.
"A hippopotamus is just a really cool opatamus."