Highway 12, 5:36 pm

[Mark A Becker]

Hello degrees,
I'd suggest swapping the last line and the title, and also adding more dabs of luminous color. All in all, there's interesting, stark imagery. I also have a soft spot for short poems like this. 
I couldn't help but add 'dwells' to slant rhyme with '12' 
Thanks, Mark

In Favored Time

Honeyed light,
pooling in warm
pastures

tiny figures,  Hmm?? Doesn't do anything for me
dabs of luminous
colors:

straw hat, a young man’s red jacket,  no 's on young
flocks of Canada geese  color?

a stir of starlings, color?
busy with evening
arrangements

sunset dwells
on Highway 12