02-03-2023, 02:01 AM
(02-02-2023, 04:34 AM)71degrees Wrote: Honeyed light,
pooling in warm
pastures
tiny figures, since the hat, the coat, are not exactly figures, I'd cut this line
dabs of luminous
colors:
straw hat, a young’s man’s red jacket,
flocks of Canada geese
a stir of starlings,
busy with evening
arrangements my favorite bit
sun set
in favored time this seems a weak ending; I'd almost rather see the title here as the last line