Rain Light - edit2
(08-16-2022, 05:00 AM)dukealien Wrote:  Rain Light

As I sat on my porch this afternoon
cool cloud-shine flicked to thundering sun-shower:
bright instant rays of flashing icicle
filled air-space everywhere that could be seen.

This rare and cataclysmic-looking fall
spared book and watcher underneath his roof
from all but fragmentary mist and awe;
how fortunate to own a well-built house
and leisure to appreciate this rain
of beauty, sheltered by both health and wealth
sufficient to protect from want and fear.

There must be others roofless in a storm
this day who curse an unexpected drench–
must my delight yield to their misery?
It doesn’t, and I can’t see that it should.
From dry as Egyptian dust and hot as the Jornada del Muerto a.k.a. Texas:

I think you could do without lines 4-8 in second stanza and go right to the point of your last stanza, but don't make it a question that you then answer, just say it:  "My delight will not yield to their misery" (in some form).  It seems unnecessary to expand on your fortune so much to me.  

Very much enjoy those first 7 lines in stanzas 1 & 2.  

And should it be "the" storm in first line of 3rd stanza, or do you mean anywhere in the world?


Messages In This Thread
Rain Light - edit2 - by dukealien - 08-16-2022, 05:00 AM
RE: Rain Light - by TranquillityBase - 08-16-2022, 10:12 AM
RE: Rain Light - by busker - 08-16-2022, 10:31 PM
RE: Rain Light - edit - by dukealien - 08-17-2022, 12:22 AM
RE: Rain Light - edit - by brynmawr1 - 08-17-2022, 10:50 AM
RE: Rain Light - edit - by dukealien - 08-18-2022, 04:46 AM
RE: Rain Light - edit - by Wjames - 08-18-2022, 12:22 PM
RE: Rain Light - edit2 - by dukealien - 08-19-2022, 04:14 AM

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