Sincerity (NaNoPo)
#5
(04-21-2020, 10:38 PM)JaggedEdge Wrote:  Dare I
Fall in love with
The nature of all things where
The woods keep me warm and quite sheltered
With sincerity.
Well this is one noobie's opinion. Great topic and mood and feeling. I'm noticing that you have several subordinate clauses. Perhaps you could break the lines like this

Dare I fall in love with
The nature of all things where
The woods keep me warm and
sheltered with
sincerity.

Maybe this is horrible, we'll have to get an experienced opinion on this one.
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Messages In This Thread
Sincerity (NaNoPo) - by JaggedEdge - 04-21-2020, 10:38 PM
RE: Sincerity (NaNoPo) - by Put_Matt - 04-24-2020, 04:54 PM
RE: Sincerity (NaNoPo) - by JaggedEdge - 04-25-2020, 09:47 PM
RE: Sincerity (NaNoPo) - by JaggedEdge - 05-11-2020, 07:14 AM
RE: Sincerity (NaNoPo) - by ComposerMike - 05-12-2020, 03:27 PM



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