A Sonnet for my Messed up Mind
#5
(03-12-2020, 08:19 AM)Marissacharles__ Wrote:  How do I loathe thee? Let me count thine ways
You make dizzy and frail
You made me feel like I only fail
The only days I feel okay are the days where I have gone away
 
Dissociation, spaced out, daze
Drinking water from the ‘holy grail’
Hoping it will finally nail
Away the way my mind likes to play
 
For you make me cry
You make me sad
You make me feel unloved
 
So now they pry
And my mom gets mad
Because I can’t see how I am beloved.
I want to encourage you to keep trying, but the problem is that this is the "woe is me" beginner mistake (see the basic critique pinned posts for more). It may be that your life feels somewhat bad or even entirely bad, but we need poetry to be something more than that. For me, I want it to give some new perspective or sense of openness or spaciousness. Can you think of any moments when you life seemed that way? When it seemed to transcend the ordinary and become something more, even for a short time?
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Messages In This Thread
RE: A Sonnet for my Messed up Mind - by Erthona - 05-03-2020, 10:57 AM
RE: A Sonnet for my Messed up Mind - by ComposerMike - 05-14-2020, 10:35 AM



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