(05-15-2023, 10:39 PM)galaxitchi Wrote:  Cats



I read once



that cats always land on their feet, meeting 

gravity with the seasonal affective grace 

of a ballerina in spring.



I wondered



if their acrobatic affinity extended to other feats,

how high could their claws carry them in pursuit

of feline proclivity?



I would watch



and wonder if I too could learn the

primal skill enabling them to defy descents

which would crack bones-



if I were to attempt such audacious occupations.

(05-16-2023, 02:08 AM)TranquillityBase Wrote:  

(05-15-2023, 10:39 PM)galaxitchi Wrote:  Cats



I read once



that cats always land on their feet, meeting 

gravity with the seasonal affective grace 

of a ballerina in spring.



I wondered



if their acrobatic affinity extended to other feats,

how high could their claws carry them in pursuit

of feline proclivity?



I would watch



and wonder if I too could learn the

primal skill enabling them to defy descents

which would crack bones-



if I were to attempt such audacious occupations.

Welcome (back) to Pig Pen,

I think you might rework your line breaks somewhat:

I read once

that cats always land on their feet, 
meeting gravity with the seasonal affective grace 
of a ballerina in spring.                                          I'm reading this as referring to the season.  If so, it seems unnecessary since ballerinas dance year round

I wondered

if their acrobatic affinity extended to other feats,
how high could their claws carry them
in pursuit of feline proclivity?

I would watch 

and wonder if I too could learn 
the primal skill enabling them to defy descents
which would crack bones- 

if I were to attempt 
such audacious occupations.

TqB

(05-15-2023, 10:39 PM)galaxitchi Wrote:  Cats

I read once

that cats always land on their feet, meeting 
gravity with the seasonal affective grace 
of a ballerina in spring.

I wondered

if their acrobatic affinity extended to other feats,
how high could their claws carry them in pursuit
of feline proclivity?

I would watch

and wonder if I too could learn the
primal skill enabling them to defy descents
which would crack bones-

if I were to attempt such audacious occupations.

(05-16-2023, 09:04 AM)busker Wrote:  

(05-15-2023, 10:39 PM)galaxitchi Wrote:  Cats

I read once

that cats always land on their feet, meeting 
gravity with the seasonal affective grace 
of a ballerina in spring.

I wondered

if their acrobatic affinity extended to other feats,
how high could their claws carry them in pursuit
of feline proclivity?

I would watch

and wonder if I too could learn the
primal skill enabling them to defy descents
which would crack bones-

if I were to attempt such audacious occupations.

 
I loved S1. I’d do away with “in spring” too.
I think there’s a chance to make this into a nice reflective poem about something other than just cats. The landing on their feet being extended to a metaphor about how perhaps the writer is struggling to land on her feet in life, and things of that nature.
I had that “a-ha, I wonder what the poet had to say now” expectation after S1.
Nice one.