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In Arcadia - 71degrees - 03-31-2015
There are three weeping willows
in front of the yellow shuttered
St. John's church near Hwy 63.
No one can remember why.
RE: In Arcadia - just mercedes - 03-31-2015
Good immediate glimpse of place and time. 'There are' is a bit passive for me - maybe 'Three willows stand ...' or something like that. Did you mean it's a yellow church with shutters? Or a church with yellow shutters? I like that the sorrow has passed from memory, but the trees are still there. Thank you!
RE: In Arcadia - Tiger the Lion - 03-31-2015
Hey 71. The only hiccup for me is that you have 2 adjectives - yellow/shuttered before the proper name of "St. John's". Almost reads as if there might be another St. John's church near Hwy 63 that may or may not be yellow shuttered. Is "St. John's" needed. Reads better to me without it. Also, personal opinion... I would prefer the full word "highway". It reads that way regardless.
Nice image.
Paul
RE: In Arcadia - srijantje - 03-31-2015
yes,nice image
RE: In Arcadia - 71degrees - 03-31-2015
(03-31-2015, 09:39 AM)just mercedes Wrote: Good immediate glimpse of place and time. 'There are' is a bit passive for me - maybe 'Three willows stand ...' or something like that. Did you mean it's a yellow church with shutters? Or a church with yellow shutters? I like that the sorrow has passed from memory, but the trees are still there. Thank you!JM, I like "either/ or" images. Gives the reader choices.
(03-31-2015, 09:41 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote: Hey 71. The only hiccup for me is that you have 2 adjectives - yellow/shuttered before the proper name of "St. John's". Almost reads as if there might be another St. John's church near Hwy 63 that may or may not be yellow shuttered. Is "St. John's" needed. Reads better to me without it. Also, personal opinion... I would prefer the full word "highway". It reads that way regardless.Doesn't have to be "St. John's"...could be any Saint, I guess
Nice image.
Paul
Also, I only chose the abbreviation (Hwy) to help the line length. Let me play with that a bit.(03-31-2015, 12:00 PM)srijantje Wrote: yes,nice imageNice comment.
RE: In Arcadia - 71degrees - 04-04-2015
(04-04-2015, 09:19 AM)A.H.Lavender Wrote:No, that's how. No one knows why.(03-31-2015, 09:20 AM)71degrees Wrote: There are three weeping willows
in front of the yellow shuttered
St. John's church near Hwy 63.
No one can remember why.
71,
No one can remember why.-------------and you are unanimous in that!
Here's the skinny on it: years ago, a man--no one can remember who--dug three holes and propped a sapling in each. With water and sunshine the miracle
of growth was achieved, and today proudly stand those three weeping willows; that is why.