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A brief synopsis of the novel:
"The Inthemiddleburgians and The Majic Accountant".



A brief synopsis of the novel:
"The Inthemiddleburgians and The Majic Accountant".

Prologue:
For untold ages the Inthemiddleburgians have, (not unlike Poland, or
myself when sitting between two sisters at Christmas dinner) suffered
from being flat, pointless, and in the middle of stuff that is very much
more viscous and intelligent than they are. This story is a case in
point.

Chapter I:
The Scorpion Prince of the conquering state of Überstan increases taxes,
yet again, on the poor citizens of Inthemiddleburgia.

Chapter II:
In a mass hallucination 'The Majic Accountant From the Unknown Regions'
appears to the Inthemiddleburgians and reveals to them hidden loopholes
in the Überstanian tax code.

Chapter III:
The Inthemiddleburgians take advantage of the loopholes and bankrupt
the state of Überstan whose citizens promptly overthrow the evil prince
and imprison him in 'The Cubicle Whose Computer has an Extremely Slow
Connection to the Internet'.

Chapter IV:
The Inthemiddleburgians newfound wealth attracts the attention of
Nimernepamen-Messetawosret, the 'Evil and Also Supreme King of the West'.
King Nimernepamen-Messetawosret promptly invades and conquers
Inthemiddleburgia. The 'Evil and Also Supreme King of the West' then
makes a pledge to the Inthemiddleburgians: He shall never levy a tax
upon them. And he is true to his word as he immediately seizes all
their property and enslaves them.

Chapter V:
In at least one more mass-hallucination 'The Majic Accountant From the
Unknown Regions' appears to the Inthemiddleburgians and tells them he
cannot help them because they have nothing left to account. But he does
suggest that they try conjuring up 'The Indispensable and Uncircumscribed
Vicious Vanquisher of Evil Kings Whose Last Names Start With Ni'.

Chapter VI:
After many failed attempts to conjure up 'The Indispensable and
Uncircumscribed Vicious Vanquisher of Evil Kings Whose Last Names Start
With Ni', and the subsequent milling about that always seems to
accompany attempts such as this, the slaves of Inthemiddleburgia
accomplish a conjuring. But, being new to conjuring and all and (it
must be said) not the sharpest of the tools in the already dull sheds of
Inthemiddleburgia; they conjure up the 'Knights Who Say Ni!' instead of
'The Indispensable and Uncircumscribed Vicious Vanquisher of Evil Kings
Whose Last Names Start With Ni'. This is unfortunate because the
'Knights Who Say Ni!' can chant the sacred word 'Ni!' in such a way as to
induce unimaginable horror and fear.
( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knights_who_say_Ni )

Chapter VII:
The leader of 'Knights Who Say Ni!' asks for a bit of shrubbery that
looks nice but is not too expensive. Unfortunately, as slaves, they can't
afford one (even if inexpensive). Upon hearing this the knights start
chanting the sacred word 'Ni!'. This, unfortunately and predictably,
induces such unimaginable horror and fear in the Inthemiddleburgians
that their panic fuels a stampede in which each and every one of them,
(imprecisely and oddly echoing the end of Macbeth) is trampled to death
by each and every other one of them.

Epilogue:
King Nimernepamen-Messetawosret, the 'Evil and Also Supreme King of the
West' watches the stampede of the Inthemiddleburgians from a high
fortress tower or some such. But, predictably, he is quickly bored and
goes in to have some tea. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your
view of kings whose last names start with 'Ni') this particular tea is
the last ingredient needed to complete the conjuring of 'The
Indispensable and Uncircumscribed Vicious Vanquisher of Evil Kings Whose
Last Names Start With Ni'. Thus, King Nimernepamen-Messetawosret, the
'Evil and Also Supreme King of the West' unfortunately or fortunately
but definitely and predictably was viciously vanquished by 'The
Indispensable and Uncircumscribed Vicious Vanquisher of Evil Kings Whose
Last Names Start With Ni'. The rest is silence except for an occasional
whimper coming from 'The Cubicle Whose Computer has an Extremely Slow
Connection to the Internet'.

END
The epilogue is a bit of a deus ex machina, isn't it? What precedes it is like a nightmarish hybrid of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Finnegan's Wake, with some nerd references thrown in. I think you have an epic on your hands here. I laughed, I cried, I was utterly confusedBig Grin