Poetry Forum

Full Version: < 30 foot long talking hot dog >
You're currently viewing a stripped down version of our content. View the full version with proper formatting.


< 30 foot long talking hot dog >

suppose
(for a moment)
that next Tuesday at around eleven am
you very own
omniscient
all-powerful god
presented you with a
30 foot long talking hot dog named "Jake"

what would you ask him?

- - -

Whether he preferred a coating of ketchup or mustard, before I ate his head.
I think I'd be too busy having an existential breakdown Hysterical

. . . .

I would wonder how Oscar Myer got that Wiener Mobile to talk.

Then I would ask what size condom does it use? And is it a descendant of a Penisuarus?
I would try to shake its hand
"ate his head","existential breakdown","what size condom?","shake its hand"

all respectable answers. liked w.m picture. (my mom rode on an earlier
version.)

hands?
do 30 foot long talking hot dogs named "Jake" have hands?
maybe vestigial ones under their oh-so-tasty skin?




I would ask him: pumpkin

and then stop praying after whisky
(11-27-2011, 06:10 AM)Leanne Wrote: [ -> ]I would ask him: pumpkin

and then stop praying after whisky

Ah! Reminds me of a Frank Zappa song:

___Call Any Vegetable___

Call Any Vegetable
Call any vegetable; call it by name
Call one today; when you get off the train
Call any vegetable; and the chances are good
That the vegetable will respond to you

(Some people don't go for prunes... I don't know,
I've always found that if they...)

Call any vegetable; Pick up your phone
Think of a vegetable, lonely at home
Call any vegetable; and the chances are good
That the vegetable will respond to you

Rutabaga, rutabaga, rutabaga, rutabay-y-y-y-y...

(A prune isn't really a vegetable... CABBAGE is a vegatable..)

No one will know if you don't want to let them know
No one will know 'less it's you that might tell them so

Call and they'll come to you
Smiling and covered with dew
Vegetables dream, vegetables dream
Vegetables dream, of responding to you

Standing there shiny and proud by your side
Holding your joint while the neighbors decide
Why is a vegetable something to hide/

(A lot of people don't bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom.
They think: Oh, ah, what can I say? What can a person like myself say
to a vegetable? But the answer is simple, my friends: Just call, and tell
them how you feel about muffins...pumpkins...wax paper... Caledonia,
Mahoganies, elbows... green things in general... and soon, a new rapport...
You and your new little green and yellow buddies, grooving together...
Oh, no! Maintaining your cool together! Worshipping together in the
Church of your choice... (only in America...)

Call any vegetable; call it by name
You gotta call one today
When you get off the train

Call any vegetable,
And the chances are good
WOW! That the vegetable will respond to you

(Oh, no! Can you see them responding? That pumpkin is breathing hard...
h-h-h-h-h-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-HHHHHHHHHHHH!! (What a pumpkin...))"