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cutting long grass
with blunt-bladed lawnmower--
wife mocks through window
This is neat Billy. It makes start thinking of the wife and husband in very specific ways just from the very few words you've written. Good job.
thanks AA
Doesn't work for me I'm afraid... I mow the lawn at our place, he's afraid of spiders and all the other hidden garden nasties Big Grin Shoulda sharpened your blades, lazy bugger.

But the dynamic does work well, there's a neat little undercurrent.
thanks for the feedback, in reality i'm in a condo on the 15th floor but i used to have one of those push and go antique mowers hehe.
(09-25-2011, 12:18 PM)billy Wrote: [ -> ]cutting long grass
with blunt-bladed lawnmower--
wife mocks through window

This one gave me quite a chuckle, thank you. You're short a syllable in the first line, so why not hang the syllable count and trim it all down (pun intended)?

cutting long grass
with blunt blades
wife mocks through window
(09-26-2011, 10:52 AM)Leanne Wrote: [ -> ]Doesn't work for me I'm afraid... I mow the lawn at our place, he's afraid of spiders and all the other hidden garden nasties Big Grin  Shoulda sharpened your blades, lazy bugger.

But the dynamic does work well, there's a neat little undercurrent.

Fixed:
cutting long grass
with blunt-bladed lawnmower--
spouse mocks through window


(And yes, billy's got a nice one here.)