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I was reading about Cormac McCarthy, an American novelist who fathered a child in his late sixties, and it got me wondering: how do you all feel about the idea of procreation in dotage? Do you see any problem with our old raising children?
I suppose like most things there are pros and cons, with this subject being no different.
My parents were grandparents when I came along ... 22 years after my brother.
The pros were that my parents were no longer pre-occupied with mortgage payments or such, they were well established with their finances, home and just stuff in general.
They had more time and patience for me, at the same time they're energy levels were beginning to slow down.
I do remember a time when I felt embarrassed of their age compared to the young parents of my friends.
The generation gap was sometimes extreme which caused larger than normal issues, especially when I was in my teens.
They also experienced pros and cons. They often told me that I helped to keep them young, while at the same time I exhausted them.
I think for men it may be easier as it's usually mothers that invest more time and energy rearing children. My mother's pregnancy with me was hard on
her system and she became quite ill after my birth, though I guess this could be so for any mother, young or old.
I heard of a woman in her sixties some years ago that became pregnant through medical help .... imo that's extreme ... even her body knew this.
An age gap such as that is imo too wide ... she'd be 65 when the child entered grade one, 75 at graduation.
If he fathered the child he is the Dad not the grand dad.

Me and my wife play a big role in the raising of our grandson Boston.

He loves grandpa, grandma too.

I don't think I will be around when he is say, 30 or so but I am more than capable of taking care of him now.


I spend all my free time with him, he is only 22 months old.
I just named a business after him.
Funny how grandchildren worm their way into your heart.
(08-11-2011, 12:27 AM)critical mass Wrote: [ -> ]If he fathered the child he is the Dad not the grand dad.
he wouldn't be a granddad; but he would be a grand dad Wink

it's a hard one to answer jack, with parenthood comes responsibility. if there are no other siblings or telatives to look after the child should the aged parents die then i'd say "best wear a condom"
on the other hand; if the mom is younger then go for it. fate is fickle and it's sometimes the young parents that dies leaving a kid a kid behind Wink



Yes critical mass, that's why I separated the "grand" and the "dad" Smile I'm not as blond as I seem at first glanceHysterical
so what are your views jack Smile
I don't have a problem with one of the parents being advanced in years, but when both are, and there are no siblings, it raises the question of whether the child will have any family by the time it enters college. Maybe then it might be a bit cruel to create a life in your dotage.
i'm pretty much of the same mind. that said my partner would love to adopt a child,
That's definitely a concern, that the child might be orphaned if his parents are too old... that said, I think older folks make great parents as well (as kath said, pros and cons). My grandma had a major hand it bringing me and my siblings up... she liked playing nanny since mom and dad were often busy at work and came home late. There was a wisdom and patience in her that really made an impression. Smile
When, precisely, does 'dotage', to use Heslopian's term, begin? I have no illusions about myself, of course. I can tell you that to hear 'I wonder if I'm pregnant' when your new friend wakes up, can give a fellow a heart-attack....Of course, to the young, the speaker would have been disgustingly old, and neither of us would have any business with such hanky panky. Ugh! Right?
Oh abu, don't be silly, old people don't have sex :p

Children may be orphaned when their parents are young also, and many of these children end up being raised by their grandparents -- quite well, I might add. My great-great-aunt lived to 108, surviving several octogenarian toyboys... I'm sure she only died because she'd finally managed to do it all.

If it happens naturally, who is to say it can't be done? Eleanor of Aquitaine was still bearing children well into her late forties/ early fifties, in a time when medical science was somewhat less advanced than it is today Smile

Involving IVF and other techniques, though, that's getting a bit out of hand.
(08-15-2011, 09:36 AM)Leanne Wrote: [ -> ]Oh abu, don't be silly, old people don't have sex :p

Children may be orphaned when their parents are young also, and many of these children end up being raised by their grandparents -- quite well, I might add. My great-great-aunt lived to 108, surviving several octogenarian toyboys... I'm sure she only died because she'd finally managed to do it all.

If it happens naturally, who is to say it can't be done? Eleanor of Aquitaine was still bearing children well into her late forties/ early fifties, in a time when medical science was somewhat less advanced than it is today Smile

Sex? SEX! You rude woman! 'Hanky panky', or 'High Jinx' as it is sometimes known, is a version of crib ---- and oh, how we went at it, a real all-nighter! Yes, we did not go to our respective beds, me in extra tough pyjams, she in her hessian night-gown, sensibly stapled at the hem, until past 10-30 --- pm! What about that! You would have to jog my memory about that other business, I don't quite recall how it all went....Nothing to compare with a GOOD GAME OF CRIB, THOUGH.

What topic? Ah, old folk! Well, what a how d'ye do, eh!

Georges Sands was a gay old thing, very disreputable, and then over-night became a gracious grandma-- or more discreet.....I think I have not spelt the name correctly... yes, as I was saying-- what was I saying? Hmm.. that young scallywag...dotage indeed! Pah!

It is a very valid (?-can something be?) point that grand-parents frequently raise children in any event --- but the thought---crikey, no, Madameee!Wink

(08-15-2011, 09:36 AM)Leanne Wrote: [ -> ]Oh abu, don't be silly, old people don't have sex :p

Children may be orphaned when their parents are young also, and many of these children end up being raised by their grandparents -- quite well, I might add. My great-great-aunt lived to 108, surviving several octogenarian toyboys... I'm sure she only died because she'd finally managed to do it all.

If it happens naturally, who is to say it can't be done? Eleanor of Aquitaine was still bearing children well into her late forties/ early fifties, in a time when medical science was somewhat less advanced than it is today Smile

Involving IVF and other techniques, though, that's getting a bit out of hand.
so a fifty come sixty year old couple has a child and then die. how old would the grand parents be? btw my auntie had a child in her late 50's (that's the truth)
Big GrinMy father was born in 1887. He married in 1910, and had three children, but sadly, while he survived the Great War, his first wife did not. For many years, he raised the children, aided but various Grannies, who must have had a tough time following his zealous conversion to Catholicism. Then, in 1934, he met and married my mother, at age forty-seven. They had four children to-gether, of whom I was the last. He was fifty-four when I was born. So my half-siblings, whom I first recall in uniform when I was tiny, in yet another war, were of an age where they might have been my parents. Probably would have been better had my father been younger, I would have known him longer adullt to adult, but things were as they were. If anyone has the enthusiasm and strong constitution, why not? But for me -- happy with grand-children-- and I like the idea of being 'grand' anything! It has, for us, provided an amazing link to the past: my father was 14 when Queen Victoria died, and for my brother's children, especially, it is almost unbelievable. He had children late, and his boys are now twenty and twenty three, and can talk of their grand-father being born all those years ago -- more interestingly, because my brother has an astonishing memory, and is a great raconteur, so they will have absorbed and pass on a lot from that era.

This passing on business must be important to humans, and in countries where people die young, as in much of Africa, one wonders how this happens. Pheweeeeee!Big Grin
i think it can work when there are other family members and nannies to lend support, and it must be something else to have anchors so far back in history. but families like that are i feel a dying breed. in the upper classes we see such ties but more often than not, in the lower classes the child ends up in a kids home should some catastrophe befall the aged parents. jmo
(08-21-2011, 10:27 AM)billy Wrote: [ -> ]i think it can work when there are other family members and nannies to lend support, and it must be something else to have anchors so far back in history. but families like that are i feel a dying breed. in the upper classes we see such ties but more often than not, in the lower classes the child ends up in a kids home should some catastrophe befall the aged parents. jmo

Do you really think so, Billy? It is true that the old white working-class has shrunk, with the disappearance and mechanisation of the docks, the vanishing of dockers and stevedores, and all those bargees and watermen, the miners, the great metal-bashing industries, such as ship-building. What jobs there are, and many are created, are largely taken by immigrants from E Europe and elsewhere. I think that in many such immigrant communities, we would find that all sorts of arrangements exist for aunties and grannies to take over, in the event of the death of a parent. I would have thought that was still true of the working-class, even where it is now more accurately described as the under-class, or Giro society, especially in the North, where,despite the persistent unemployment down the generations, there still seems to be a greater cohesiveness, than there is in London, where fragmentation, geographically, is so common. But perhaps that is the subject for a different topic.