Poetry Forum

Once Upon a Time in Some Suburb

It was my night.
A free night.

I'd spent weeks planning it;

finished my shift,
walked the dog,
paid the bills,
worked the girlfriend,
exhaled...

you know, that kind of night...

I started by smoking
a little hash
I'd been hoarding
for just this occasion
and chased it
with three
quick
shots
of tequila
for balance.

The Hip Flask
would hold four more
but I wanted to be sure
so I filled it to overflowing,

stuck it in my jacket pocket
like an assassin's pistol
and proceeded down Church Street
to the Cineplex
for the 8:50 premiere
of the new Tarantino movie.

I think it cost me
about three-hundred bucks
but I got the biggest buttered popcorn available
with a super-sized Sprite.

(Normally I prefer Coke
but I thought the citrus of Sprite
might play more friendly
with the contents
of my Hip-Flask
and after all
I had some alchemy going
and needed to make sober calculations).


Three hours later
I emerged from the theater 
wrecked-

not from the hash
or even the tequila-

they were just extras
and their contracts were up.

My gut insisted I was golden, 
but my head was swimming.

I've been hungover three days now
and thought it was time I talked about it.

I shouldn't see movies alone.

(08-02-2019, 01:01 PM)Tiger the Lion Wrote: [ -> ]Once Upon a Time in Some Suburb

It was my night.
A free night.

I'd spent weeks planning it;

finished my shift,
walked the dog,
paid the bills,
worked the girlfriend,
exhaled...

you know, that kind of night...

I started by smoking
a little hash
I'd been hoarding
for just this occasion
and chased it
with three
quick
shots
of tequila
for balance.

The Hip Flask
would hold four more
but I wanted to be sure
so I filled it to overflowing,

stuck it in my jacket pocket
like an assassin's pistol
and proceeded down Church Street
to the Cineplex
for the 8:50 premiere
of the new Tarantino movie.

I think it cost me
about three-hundred bucks
but I got the biggest buttered popcorn available
with a super-sized Sprite.

(Normally I prefer Coke
but I thought the citrus of Sprite
might play more friendly
with the contents
of my Hip-Flask
and after all
I had some alchemy going
and needed to make sober calculations).


Three hours later
I emerged from the theater 
wrecked-

not from the hash
or even the tequila-

they were just extras
and their contracts were up.

My gut insisted I was golden, 
but my head was swimming.

I've been hungover three days now
and thought it was time I talked about it.

I shouldn't see movies alone.

Yeah, I've heard about that "Once Upon a Time..." deal. Still has some chops, the T has.

Lovely evocation: LSD recurrence-style high, or downer so massive it feels like up?

i try not to give feedback in miscellaneous but for me the start is weak. a suggestion would be to put the 1st 3 lines after the first stanza. for a poem with such brevity it's also pretty wordy, [something i don't usually like but here i really do like it] while it was brain deadening for the 1st person it gave me a bit of kick too.

(08-02-2019, 01:01 PM)Tiger the Lion Wrote: [ -> ]Once Upon a Time in Some Suburb

It was my night.
A free night.

I'd spent weeks planning it;

finished my shift,
walked the dog,
paid the bills,
worked the girlfriend,
exhaled...

you know, that kind of night...

I started by smoking
a little hash
I'd been hoarding
for just this occasion
and chased it
with three
quick
shots
of tequila
for balance.

The Hip Flask
would hold four more
but I wanted to be sure
so I filled it to overflowing,

stuck it in my jacket pocket
like an assassin's pistol
and proceeded down Church Street
to the Cineplex
for the 8:50 premiere
of the new Tarantino movie.

I think it cost me
about three-hundred bucks
but I got the biggest buttered popcorn available
with a super-sized Sprite.

(Normally I prefer Coke
but I thought the citrus of Sprite
might play more friendly
with the contents
of my Hip-Flask
and after all
I had some alchemy going
and needed to make sober calculations).


Three hours later
I emerged from the theater 
wrecked-

not from the hash
or even the tequila-

they were just extras
and their contracts were up.

My gut insisted I was golden, 
but my head was swimming.

I've been hungover three days now
and thought it was time I talked about it.

I shouldn't see movies alone.