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By which I mean not real guilty secrets, like you once killed a man and evaded justice, or robbed a vault in a children's hospice, but stuff like you have a secret obsession with Grandma, We Love You, or don't understand why The Godfather is seen as the best film ever.

Here's mine: I can't f****** stand Victorian literature; Charles Dickens, Henry James, Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters... I find it all so goddamn melodramatic, with annoyingly broad characters (i.e. mustache twirling landlords and snarling stepmothers) and obvious motifs (graveyards at night, rattling chains etc.), and paragraphs more flowery than a church in summer. The central offenders are the English, I'm afraid. The rest of Europe and America are fine, but we Brits were a bunch of twazzocks back then. Martin Chuzzlewit? Martin F***wit, more like.
Also, I take Lady Gaga somewhat seriously as an artiste. I know, I know. Just shoot me now and spare me from my misery.
oh Heathcliff, Smile

i can understand how you feel about the victorianic writing lol,
my guilty secrets are;

i used to eat chewing gum i found stuck under school desks Blush (it was a delicacy for me cos i never went to school that much)
and i used to smoke dimps i'd picked up off the floor when i was a kid Blush

it's not really a secret but i effin hate the Julian Assanges of the world. specially the namby pamby types that shout all heroic as though they're tenmen when they're in the spotlight but cry like bitches when they get bum spanked.



Lawrence

I got pissed at this gaudy girl from summer camp-
So I set her hair on fire.

What? I was only ten!

mrmod

I'm beginning to enjoy this thread already Smile.

When I was a kid I used to look under vending machines for dropped coins and when I found something (was unusual, but not rare) I would buy something from the vending machine Blush.

thethingy

I have two secret children, secret from the misses and secret from both the other mums.......................................

mrmod

(01-05-2011, 11:09 PM)thethingy Wrote: [ -> ]I have two secret children, secret from the misses and secret from both the other mums.......................................

Are you joking Dodgy?

To others, please keep it truthful./mod
i'm gonna take whats said here at face value. Smile


as a kid i used to piss in the bath Sad

I once fapped to Return of the JediBlush

thethingy


Are you joking Dodgy?

To others, please keep it truthful./mod
[/quote]

no joke, one is a little girl about 2 and the other I do know what it is but the girl was pregnant when we split up about 10 years ago........................
fapping to return of the jedi is win hehe

i have loads of friends who've fathered kids with more than one woman (in the same time frame even) it's common for inner city areas for girls to have two and even more kids by different guys.

this one is a bit gross:

when i was a kid hygiene wasn't a main priority as such; you know the cheese that forms in between the the thigh and groin area when you don't bathe: i used to scrape it off with my fingernails and sniff it under the bed clothes (great coat army jacket)

thethingy

(01-06-2011, 05:43 PM)billy Wrote: [ -> ]fapping to return of the jedi is win hehe

i have loads of friends who've fathered kids with more than one woman (in the same time frame even) it's common for inner city areas for girls to have two and even more kids by different guys.

that's why mine is a secret, more of a blatant denial really as the little girl is almost 2 and so is my son........................
(01-06-2011, 05:43 PM)billy Wrote: [ -> ]when i was a kid hygiene wasn't a main priority as such; you know the cheese that forms in between the the thigh and groin area when you don't bathe: i used to scrape it off with my fingernails and sniff it under the bed clothes (great coat army jacket)

That just made me throw up a little in my mouth...

mrmod

(01-06-2011, 06:13 PM)bob5695 Wrote: [ -> ]
(01-06-2011, 12:09 PM)billy Wrote: [ -> ]as a kid i used to piss in the bath Sad

i'm 31 and i still do it.

There is a difference between a shower (duche) and a bath (banho).

Do you piss in the water that you clean yourself with Confused?
pissin in the shower is okay.
though havin a shit should be frowned upon Hysterical

thethingy

(01-06-2011, 06:13 PM)bob5695 Wrote: [ -> ]but did you really want to have kids from several women or was it just that you couldn't be bothered to use a condom?

I was unprepared and too eager...................
(01-05-2011, 06:17 PM)billy Wrote: [ -> ]i used to eat chewing gum i found stuck under school desks Blush (it was a delicacy for me cos i never went to school that much)
and i used to smoke dimps i'd picked up off the floor when i was a kid Blush

Me too. I even went as far as grabbing some from the ground ... got a little gritty ... gum chewing was not allowed in our house.
Store bought cookies were never in our house only home baked goodies or so I thought until I discovered a drawer kept by my mother for hiding Oreo cookies. When she was busy I would sneak into the drawer, grab a few and hide in my bedroom only eating the icing which I would roll into a ball and then feed the cookie part to our dog.
Did the bathtub peeing thing too.
(01-06-2011, 08:07 PM)Heslopian Wrote: [ -> ]
(01-06-2011, 05:43 PM)billy Wrote: [ -> ]when i was a kid hygiene wasn't a main priority as such; you know the cheese that forms in between the the thigh and groin area when you don't bathe: i used to scrape it off with my fingernails and sniff it under the bed clothes (great coat army jacket)

That just made me throw up a little in my mouth...

Just about did the same thing for me too.
Shouldn't this be in the sewer? Big Grin

Lawrence

Once, I masturbated into a urinal.
(01-08-2011, 03:43 PM)Lawrence Wrote: [ -> ]Once, I masturbated into a urinal.

You reminded me about my son ... I hate Penthouse and the like (nasty stuff to me), and being a strick mom I didn't allow them. My son, poor child, had to resort to hiding Sears catalogues under his bed Dodgy When ever I wanted to order something I had to go searching ... at least I knew he was healthy. Big Grin

Lawrence

Great, so now I'm talking to a woman who might be my mother. I wouldn't be surprised.
(01-08-2011, 03:43 PM)Lawrence Wrote: [ -> ]Once, I masturbated into a urinal.

A public urinal? Like a school bathroom or public toilet?
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