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        "Public Rose Garden"
         outside penitentiary
           winter decadence
(03-28-2017, 03:40 AM)burrealist Wrote: [ -> ]
        "Public Rose Garden"
         outside penitentiary
           winter decadence

Hmmmm, I'm assuming that the decadence would be blooming roses, but I've never known a type that bloomed in the winter.

I'm left wondering if the inmates help keep up the grounds or not. If there's just a rose garden out of reach, that's kind of a dick move. If they help cultivate it, that's a kindness and a kind of rehabilitation. The answer would affect the meaning I make of it. It's up to you if you want to supply the context, how open you want it to be for multiple meanings. You could use your title to hint at these details, since it's a lot to get into a small space.
(04-04-2017, 05:22 AM)Lizzie Wrote: [ -> ]
(03-28-2017, 03:40 AM)burrealist Wrote: [ -> ]
        "Public Rose Garden"
         outside penitentiary
           winter decadence

Hmmmm, I'm assuming that the decadence would be blooming roses, but I've never known a type that bloomed in the winter.

I'm left wondering if the inmates help keep up the grounds or not. If there's just a rose garden out of reach, that's kind of a dick move. If they help cultivate it, that's a kindness and a kind of rehabilitation. The answer would affect the meaning I make of it. It's up to you if you want to supply the context, how open you want it to be for multiple meanings. You could use your title to hint at these details, since it's a lot to get into a small space.

Yeah, my original idea was "decadence" all over the board. It represents wilting flowers in winter, dead under a pile of snow... It resembles the decay in morale when inmates are arrested. Also the decay in morale of the judges who incarcerate them.

To answer your question, the rose garden is one cared for by the inmates. They let "Trustees" walk the grounds and perform landscaping to get some air. However, it seems like a tease to me. They're still judged, incarcerated, and still immoral as people locked in a penitentiary. I hoped I was grasping what was supposed to be irony.
(04-04-2017, 05:22 AM)Lizzie Wrote: [ -> ]Hmmmm, I'm assuming that the decadence would be blooming roses, but I've never known a type that bloomed in the winter.


If I rearranged it, would it work? Here is what I thought:

Winter's decadence
outside penitentiary--
"Public Rose Garden"

or

"Public Rose Garden"
outside penitentiary
withers in winter

patamyst

(03-28-2017, 03:40 AM)burrealist Wrote: [ -> ]
        "Public Rose Garden"
         outside penitentiary
           winter decadence

The second line sounds awkward and unclear to me. Did you not say 'outside the penitentiary' for the syllable count? I think you could get away with the extra syllable if that's the reason. What I hear in the first two lines is that there is a garden in an outdoor penitentiary which seems odd.

I don't get the last line. I saw your comment about dead leaves but until you said that I had no idea what this phrase might have been referring to. I get that the root of the word is 'decay' but I think of decadence as referring to human behavior.