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Full Version: Senryu in the Snowstorm
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we loved early
and long

past convenience
Nice. I don't like the white space between the lines, though, I think a line break is enough there.
new york? and
never been in a snowstorm, so
can't say what's up with "convenience" --

still, it's a thing unsaid i can now say
i've somewhat felt*. somewhat

* - (and the white space evokes snow, as long as it ain't on a black background)
Thanks for reading and commenting guys. I suppose more traditionally it might read:

we loved early
and long --
past convenience

but I couldn't bear the punctuation.