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It's my birthday, and I'm indulging myself by making this list of things I've found to be true and advice that makes sense to me. I don't know if anyone but me will benefit from it, but on the off-chance that someone will, here it is:


Half-Decent Advice and Things More Likely Than Not to be True

Learn some jokes. People like jokes.

Anger is the emotion that you feel when you're destroying something. Being angry at someone you love is like trying to build a house out of lit sticks of dynamite. 

People that tell you that it'll get better with time are wrong. Betrayal never stops hurting. The truth is rather that the pain will inform the joy to come. Let it.

If you haven't laughed in a week, fix it.

Emily says bake a cake. She's right about that. Bake a cake.

Spend more time on people and less time on things.

At intervals, ask yourself if there's someone you need to forgive. Usually, there is. Usually, you're not aware of it. Usually, pretending to forgive that person will cause you to actually forgive them. Usually, forgiving someone will cause you to stop feeling like shit. Usually, that's the moment you'll realize you felt like shit in the first place. Usually.

Using a semicolon in a sentence is like using a frying pan in an office--sure, you've got your reasons, but now everyone has to spend ten minutes trying to figure out what they are.

Tell people you're proud of them ten times more often than you do.

Saying "I love you" to a friend is what you're supposed to do. If you think it's weird, you're weird.

The secret to cooking is use butter.

Make more choices.

Of all the life lessons we have to learn over and over and over, the most important is this: the grapevine is always always always wrong.

Never laugh at anyone who's dancing or praying.

Brag on your friends.

Forcing yourself to smile is like forcing open a treasure chest. 

Here are the three best foods in the whole world, in order: buttered toast with honey, San Marcos-brand pickled jalapeños, and cheese and crackers.

It's hard to capture tone in short, text-only messages. Upsetting texts are usually not intended to be.

As a rule, we radically underestimate the impact we have on everyone around us.

Learn to like stuff that most people like. Bragging about your distaste for country music or apples or beer or television or poetry or babies is like bragging about the holes in your underwear.

Listen to every episode of The Memory Palace.

Labels for racial groups change over time. Just go with it.

We have no clue what 96% of the matter in the universe is, we have yet to explore 98% of the ocean, 20% of the intact DNA in a nasal swab is unclassifiable, we can't explain laughter, we don't really know why we sleep or dream, we have no idea how anesthetics work, we don't understand the basics of metabolism and nutrition, and quantum mechanics are all but impossible to figure out. We really don't know even the most basic fundamentals about *anything*. Isn't that great?

No one is good with names. 

Calling a person a criminal is like calling a cat a criminal.

95% of any argument should be figuring out what the other person is trying to say. If it's not, you're doing it wrong.

If you think there's such a thing as a stupid person, you're right.

It's not effeminate to say something's pretty.

If you don't know why you've stopped doing something you love, then you need to figure out what it is that went so very, very wrong.

Be kind to people. Period. 

Don't hurt people. Period.

Don't throw people away. We throw too many people away. 

And here's my thesis on life: a strong identity, well-rehearsed and conspicuously expressed, promotes connection. Connection heals. It's the only thing that heals.

just mercedes

Happy birthday - and many more of them! Good luck with that identity thing.
Happy birthday.

This list coupled with the fact that it is your birthday, i.e. another year closer to the finish line, reminded me of that quote by I-Can't-Remember-Who: You live and learn. Then you die and forget it all. Wink
Cats are criminals.

Happy birthday Smile
Since you're into lists here are 3 presents:
You're never angry for the reason you think you are.
Enlightenment means to lighten up.
Love as much as you can from where you are.
None of these mean what you think they do.

Happy birthday it only gets worst from here Smile

Dale
I think those translate as:

Dale is always cranky for no reason.
Dale is having his hair bleached this weekend.
Dale can't reach his penis anymore.
Dale doesn't remember what he's written.
happy birthday

wherever you are, that's where you're at.
Thanks everyone! And especially for the image of a kitten in stripes pulling an iron ball on a chain.
billy said, "wherever you are, that's where you're at[,]" and it reminded me of: I'm still encouraged to go on. I wouldn't know where else to go!
Paradox time:
Does a list of all lists contain itself?
Quote:Learn to like stuff that most people like. Bragging about your distaste for country music or apples or beer or television or poetry or babies is like bragging about the holes in your underwear.

What strange endorsement for conformity is this?
(11-23-2014, 01:55 PM)milo Wrote: [ -> ]
Quote:Learn to like stuff that most people like. Bragging about your distaste for country music or apples or beer or television or poetry or babies is like bragging about the holes in your underwear.
What strange endorsement for conformity is this?
I took it as a call for open-mindedness, even your non-favorite things can be enjoyed.
(11-23-2014, 10:44 PM)ellajam Wrote: [ -> ]
(11-23-2014, 01:55 PM)milo Wrote: [ -> ]
Quote:Learn to like stuff that most people like. Bragging about your distaste for country music or apples or beer or television or poetry or babies is like bragging about the holes in your underwear.
What strange endorsement for conformity is this?
I took it as a call for open-mindedness, even your non-favorite things can be enjoyed.

I think I would rather enjoy what I like than learn to like what others like just because other s like it. Diversity and individuality are valuable traits.
(11-24-2014, 02:52 AM)milo Wrote: [ -> ]
(11-23-2014, 10:44 PM)ellajam Wrote: [ -> ]
(11-23-2014, 01:55 PM)milo Wrote: [ -> ]What strange endorsement for conformity is this?
I took it as a call for open-mindedness, even your non-favorite things can be enjoyed.
I think I would rather enjoy what I like than learn to like what others like just because other s like it. Diversity and individuality are valuable traits.
Despite the looks of shock from those who know me, I've come to enjoy county music and Nascar in the last few years. The world opens in interesting ways when you don't rule anything out. And things that may look shallow from the outside can have an unexpected depth. What a person enjoys is not set in stone, that's a good thing to know. Go, crow.
(11-24-2014, 02:52 AM)milo Wrote: [ -> ]
(11-23-2014, 10:44 PM)ellajam Wrote: [ -> ]
(11-23-2014, 01:55 PM)milo Wrote: [ -> ]What strange endorsement for conformity is this?
I took it as a call for open-mindedness, even your non-favorite things can be enjoyed.

I think I would rather enjoy what I like than learn to like what others like just because other s like it. Diversity and individuality are valuable traits.

I must confess that when I first read this I thought the same as Milo. 'learn to like stuff most people like' sounds like a poster from 1984. Or actually, far more subtle, 'learn' adds a creepiness to it that is far more indicative of Nike.

but after what jam said, I started to think about it. and it is the word 'most' that is really the troubling word here. and if you remove it, it sounds far more positive, i.e. learn to like what other people like. This is far more positive. this makes it more individual. My ex-girlfriend liked the Beatles (yep... sigh), I hated them. But, after listening to her enthusiasm, and after all this was a girl I liked (Jim, you actually put your dick in this woman?), I made an attempt to find something positive there. I didn't. The Beatles are still the most overrated pile of shite ever. But the point is, one can be stubborn, and hate the thing one hates, that's ok. But if you hate it just because you hate it, and are deaf to any positivity, then it is your loss. a negation is a negation is a negation, and as such adds nothing to this long drawn-out suicide we call life (oh dear, did he really just that?).
(11-24-2014, 07:41 AM)shemthepenman Wrote: [ -> ]
(11-24-2014, 02:52 AM)milo Wrote: [ -> ]
(11-23-2014, 10:44 PM)ellajam Wrote: [ -> ]I took it as a call for open-mindedness, even your non-favorite things can be enjoyed.
I think I would rather enjoy what I like than learn to like what others like just because other s like it. Diversity and individuality are valuable traits.
I must confess that when I first read this I thought the same as Milo. 'learn to like stuff most people like' sounds like a poster from 1984. Or actually, far more subtle, 'learn' adds a creepiness to it that is far more indicative of Nike.

but after what jam said, I started to think about it. and it is the word 'most' that is really the troubling word here. and if you remove it, it sounds far more positive, i.e. learn to like what other people like. This is far more positive. this makes it more individual. My ex-girlfriend liked the Beatles (yep... sigh), I hated them. But, after listening to her enthusiasm, and after all this was a girl I liked (Jim, you actually put your dick in this woman?), I made an attempt to find something positive there. I didn't. The Beatles are still the most overrated pile of shite ever. But the point is, one can be stubborn, and hate the thing one hates, that's ok. But if you hate it just because you hate it, and are deaf to any positivity, then it is your loss. a negation is a negation is a negation, and as such adds nothing to this long drawn-out suicide we call life (oh dear, did he really just that?).
Ha, shem, having survived much longer than I could have imagined or would have chosen to if I used the good sense I was born with, I have no problem with you calling life a long drawn-out suicide, seems a reasonable way of looking at it. Big Grin

And milo, as for individuality, I don't worry about it. We are all unique, a once in the universe combo of genes and circumstance, we can't be less than individuals even when we try to be otherwise.